{you smell like a girl} Perfume: Because smelling like soap is just boring

I’m a whore (I know, duh!)… a PERFUME whore.

Ladies all have their shameless indulgences (mine happen to also include vintage coats and shoes). But there’s something indulgent about smelling pretty that puts my girly side into overdrive. When it comes to beauty products, fragrance is a small luxury that doesn’t cost much. I’ve acquired quite the collection over time (since a bottle can typically last me 3-5 years). Smelling like soap is boring — and dudes like their lady friends and bits to smell nice — but layering my scents during/after the shower doesn’t work for me because perfumed body washes and gels or anything anti-bacterial hijacks my moisture and terrorizes my skin cells. And never, ever put that stuff in your vag… you’ll get an infection, for serious.

I can’t wear scented lotion because of my eczema. So, screw you Bath & Body Works and your intolerable skin irritants.

I’ve been obsessed with fragrances since I first stepped into a Body Shop in my junior high school years. And they let me mix my own perfumed oil — if I so wanted — but I simply chose strawberry. And wore it for most of the 7th grade. It’s a wonder how I didn’t end up a hooker. My (sexual) preferences may have changed over the years, but the top choices in my collection are men: (now discontinued) Calvin Klein Truth and (not pictured, and empty… and possibly discontinued) Yves St Laurent Babydoll.

My oldest scent — and by that, I mean the one I’ve been wearing the longest… or is it because it’s an old lady scent? — is Fracas by Robert Piguet. I received a small bottle of it from my stepmother in a Christmas stocking. It oozes gardenia and is decidedly not an everyday scent — buut a special occasion perfume, for certain. If I wear enough of it, I can clear a room. Guess that means it is an old lady scent. No matter. OLD MEN LOVE ME TOO.

Sadly, I no longer have bottles of Lemon Baby Soft or Unforgettable by Revlon. I hearted those both in my younger days so hard.

I regularly wear Kenneth Cole Reaction (to be honest, I think this might be a male scent or unisex, but it smells neutral) and this LIV GRN C2C organic stuff (a sample that’s new to me and going through it quickly) because they are both incredibly light and clean smelling.

I tend to go more for green, spicy or  oriental blends, musky or woodsy scents, and only make exceptions for a few floral favorites. Very rarely will I pick something with a strong front note of fruit — citrusy, yes (I love grapefruit); fruity, no (who wants to smell like a god damn caramel apple?!). Which is totally opposite of where my love of perfume grew. I love the smell of Birthday Cake body wash, but I do NOT want to smell like it (I keep it in the shower, however, for a pick me up).

I’ve had the best… ahem, sexy time success with wearing LaVanilla and Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue.

Serious Mood Lifter: Happy by Clinique
Girls Night: Betsey Johnson
Black Tie: Coco Mademoiselle

SAMPLES! Yes, I keep those too.

The two newest bottles in my collection are Lolita Pacific Creation and Gucci by Gucci — both included in a Sephora box that I “won” in a silent auction at a recent charity event. I could not be happier with their inclusion in that gift. I match scents to my mood — or sometimes, to what I am wearing (I imagine that my clothes have feelings too… what? that’s not weird). And right now I am absolutely bathing in Yogini, a sample from my December Birchbox.

Perfume. I told you that I was obsessed.

Do you have a favorite scent? Does your partner like a certain scent on you?

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