Things to do when you’re Suddenly Single:

1. Surround yourself with friends
This makes for an obvious “duh,” but I really enjoyed spilling my unwanted emotions over kafta rolls and fatoosh at Nate’s Deli and releasing the fury of my fruit  and cheese cravings at the West Side Market.  Follow that by a night of laughing at Cleveland’s Douchebaggery at Cadillac Ranch & Bar Room, and well, it’s a recipe for I’ll Be Just Fine, Thank You.

2. Buy yourself something
I’m in no position to empty my bank account on labeled-handbags or spa treatments, but a pound of mixed  chocolates from Sweet Designs in Lakewood was just the ticket to Happy Town.

3. Do something else for yourself that you know your Ex would never have done
I tried to find a flower shop in River after the market on Saturday, with no luck. Maybe there’s one in the Old River section of town? (Suggestions for LOCAL florists welcome!).  Next weekend, I will buy MYSELF flowers. All I know is that I love flowers. I don’t care if it’s just ONE freaking flower. But men only seem to buy them when they’ve fucked up. And well, that just makes giving flowers (and receiving them) really, really lame. I’m going to buy a giant bouquet of white lilies or something else that symbolizes peace.

4. Distract yourself with someone new
Not surprisingly, the attention from someone else makes for an easy rebound, regardless of future intentions. Me? First person that I called was an Ex, that — even though we couldn’t make a relationship work (*sigh* long-distance) — he still makes me feel beautiful, funny…  and well, like a wanted female. And there’s a potential Valentine’s Date in the works. And back-up plans, in case he doesn’t work out. But as far as jumping back into something serious again? Not interested. I also have no interest in going out to look. Let them fall into my lap. Or breasts. Whatever.

5. Throw everything away. Delete Numbers. Texts. Pictures. Delete. Delete. Delete.
I don’t need reminders anymore. The Ex Box has somehow still remained intact — but those memories are mostly from the Super Men in my life. You know, the ones whose balls I don’t want to chop off. So, delete the photo albums on MySpace and Facebook. Delete the phone numbers. Deleting the saved text messages was easy this time around, as I just replaced my cell with an iPhone.  Sunday, I hung up printed motivational quotes, poems and cards on my fridge. Monday, I will toss out all the Relationship Schwag. Done. And Done.

6. Fill up the calendar
Holy shit, now that I don’t have to worry about scheduling my nights and weekends around when someone happens to be in town, I have a calendar full of fun shit coming up in February! I have plans. Every. Single. Weekend. And back-up plans. That’s awesome. And I just put the finishing touches on plans for a long weekender in March. And a birthday mini-trip in May. Life is good.

And with my head held high, I feel so on top of the world. I am completely relaxed. I have completely dispelled the fucking knot in my stomach and anxious insecurities in which I’ve been battling for the last couple weeks. And holy shit, I’m smiling at strangers again because I’m not all terse.

Look at my middle finger, dick! It’s smiling at you too. And thanking you.

What do you do when you find yourself suddenly part of the Single World?

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