Skate (b)log: Week #2 of Contact

Another “meatie” from my Fresh Meat class in Cleveland was drafted to a home team. And as happy I am for these girls and their respective roller derby successes, I can’t help but feel… left out. Like, I missed my chance because I moved. If I stayed with BRRG, I would already be bouting; I might already be on a team too… (and dammit, I miss my old training gym!). I would be well into my derby career, instead of STILL a fresh meat. Some days, I really miss my first team… a lot. I guess that’s normal, right? Granted, that long-distance shit sucked.

I made the decision to leave my former league before skills testing. And I had to wait all these MONTHS to re-join, let alone get to a skill level from where I feel I left off. I know that I’ll eventually get to that level (and perhaps even more competitive, at that), but… well, there’s that lingering “but.” I’m not so arrogant that I think I know how to do everything. I don’t. In fact, when skaters know I have a history (and as much as I want to help other newbs or brag about it), I feel like I’m not measuring up to some undetermined standard. And then I wonder if I’m not as good as I used to be. That’s likely just ME getting in the way of ME.

What if I didn’t move? is just NOT a healthy manner of thinking. Everything FEELS natural to me in practice (which is good… I think), besides my love/hate relationship with my skates. Still. And I attempt to make certain skills “tougher” for me, when it’s something I’ve done in the past.

Thankfully, all my fellow meaties are an amazing group of mood-lifters and crutches, who will hip-check me into reality and out of self-loathing (and I am certainly not “easy” on them during hitting drills either *wink*). We all collectively want one another to get better… to BE better skaters. And the vets encourage and motivate us — such a LARGE group of Meaties can’t be easy either. Practices are also incredibly fun (read: sweaty) and intense. If I’m in a “mood” when I go in, I’m much better when I leave. And on some level (even if I have my moments of self-doubt), I feel this “waiting period” will make me a better skater.

I’m in a reflective mood today… good thing there’s practice tonight.

Bruise Update: Oh man, I got throat punched during pack falling drills; jabbed my knuckles into my own sternum during a fall forward; fell sideways on my knee (which caused my kneepad to swivel sideways, causing a mean-looking bruise near my kneecap); got stabbed in the arm by someone’s sharp-ass velcro during a pack drill; and a worse-than-being-hit double-pinch of my underarm while practicing J-hooks. Give it time, hip checking is in full effect… and I just FEEL bruises stewing on both sides.

UPDATE: Yeah, practice DEFINITELY improved my mood tonight. And without even asking, I got some great feedback. Bad mood effectively hip-checked.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.