Mel

Ladies. Ahem, LADIES! Listen up.

G’day mates. Thunder from Down Under is here. Or coming. Or… well, whatever.  It’s time to schedule your girls’ night out or the Bachelorette Party currently-on-hold for (Tuesday, WTF? HOB?) November 24. So, yeah. These guys mostly gross me out, but I’m sure many of you will enjoy the body sweat of Adam up against your vag. I am a woman, a lover of that side ab-muscle thingy...

Mel

Time to change. . . watches?

I’ve been silently coveting a big silver watch. I have not worn a watch in over a year. One of my favorite Ann Kleins I left at some guy’s apartment. All the batteries in my other five or sex are dead. Yes, I have even worn one for “fashion” and totally not time. Typical. Useless. The last is… ew. Gold. So, I’ve been looking around for a piece that is completely...

Mel

The CRAZIES, they are among us

And they drove by your place today. But only because you might have done the same. You can’t even cross the street at Ford & Euclid without someone checking you out. Pshe. While there are “cute” girls at Wal-Mart. There are certainly not intelligent forms of life at Cereal Isle. I think. El-Oh-El. Swoon. The geeks are mating. Oh… Hell called? Still not frozen.  But maybe at...

Mel

Browns Sexy & brown pants turn me on

 Goooooddddd bless Americaaaaaa! Oh, I’m not here to sing for these people? What do you do here?  Now is NOT the time for your big hug, dude!    Apparently, I “receive” now…  Maybe you should receive a little bit of Jesus too.   *sigh* Browns. That is...

Mel

I smell something cookin’!

My own (well, not mine, sadly, so much as Cleveland’s) Michael Symon has turned 40. I You should stalk him on...

Mel

Putting all my picnics in one basket.

Yeah, being that it’s 55 degrees today in Cleveland, it is safe to assume that picnic season may be over. But look, I’m wearing a sweater — and picnic-ing! Few weeks ago, I wrote about ordering that picnic backback and FINALLY was able to use it on our visit to the Blossom Festival over Labor Day weekend. Peeps, if you love picnics like me, this item is required in your outdoor...

Mel

Working out is working out!

Check out my freakin’ arms, people! They’re almost twig-like compared to an awful Facebook photo tag of fat, flabby arm from the beginning of summer. I’ve lost 7 pounds in as many weeks. More than an inch from my thigh — and just about an inch from my arm (bicep). Every measurement (sadly, from bust too) has decreased, on account of running 3 times a week, the 100 Push-Ups program...

Mel

A Laboring weekend of FUN!

Ed — Wow. Oh, so far behind. I haven’t finished my Labor Day Post! Ack. Beware: rambling catch-up below… Fridays. I love Fridays. The work week is over. We typically stay in and create our own homemade pizza. And. Relax. BUT, end of summer weather took us to the patio of The Greenhouse Tavern (happy hour drinks only, please). My cousin was also celebrating her last weekend in Cleveland...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

via Buzzfeed

Mel

It’s an awesome contest for an awesome city.

Somewhere along the way, I became awesome. Even better, my city (ahem, Cleveland) came along for a ride on the awesomeness bandwagon. And well, you guys did too. Case in point, I found guest judges for my big blog contest-of-awesomeness (otherwise known as the Cleveland Elevator Pitch) — Positively Cleveland. They could possibly be the only people who love Cleveland more than me. Which is why I...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

The event: Bachelorette Party The date: Saturday, September 5, 2009 The place: somewhere west of Cleveland The outcome: penises everywhere Stay tuned. More at...

Mel

Cleveland Elevator Pitch

I’m hoping that Positively Cleveland will help me out on this one. As I mentioned earlier on twitter, I met a guy in my elevator this morning who recently relocated to Cleveland (from Atlanta). Aside from passing along our apartment number, if he needs suggestions on what’s “cool and fun” from my man and I (my go-to words to describe the city in such a short amount of time), I...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Meanwhile, in my ice cream creation room… Color: something blue (more bruising, less marriage) Add-ins: white nuts… no, white CRUSHED nuts. Perhaps some alfalfa sprouts. Flavor: Hmmm, salty? Yes, definitely salty. Serving Suggestion: serve atop an 8-inch cone. We’ll call it… Blue Balls! Somehow, I don’t think this flavor or VIAGRA ice cream will be created in Jeni’s...

Mel

Do you live the life you love?

How I wish I could be in New York on Sept 15, Oct 6 or Nov 3! Single Edition and Spark Network have created a series of single-somethings seminars entitled “Live the Life You Love.” Events not only include after-hour mini-makeovers and personal shopping expeditions, but expert panels include: “Money, Home and Security” — featuring financial advising, real estate and legal...

Mel

One bottle of Becherovka for admission!

Greenhouse Tavern is amazing. The rest of the culinary world agrees, of course. Within five days of our last meal (right, convenience of E. 4th living), there were at least three new menu items. Our friends from Indy were left pleased and beyond full. Ed note: Uh, so we may have gone back again last Thursday, which makes three times in a week. New record. This was for snacking and Jeni’s ice cream....

Mel

On becoming a true Clevelander

I am a turkey, Swiss, mushroom & honey-dijon wrap full of emotions today (yum, lunch). And I would like a bowl full of that Lucky’s Cafe applesauce, please. Anyone? While this morning was a somewhat sad watching AB pack the rest of his “things” from my condo in River, I was full of glee that we will FINALLY be in just. one. place. after five months of transporting overnight bags,...

Mel

Heard Around the Office

After discussing the loss of inches in body measurements over the last three weeks… Mel: I lost 3/4 of an inch in my ass! BM: Wanna lose another 9 1/4 inches in your ass? *ahem* Yeah, so pretty awesome. I lost in inches everywhere — 1/4 in my waist, 3/4 in my ass and a FULL INCH around my thigh! (I even lost like a half an inch around my bicep, yo. 100 Push Ups App is the shit. I can still only...

Mel

Speaking of . . .

Proof that we Clevelanders are truly a bunch of drunks. This release has no direct link to a study on the propensity of the population of douchebags, but I digress. Speaking of drunks, Browns season is almost here. The Browns season of which I will be living downtown. Me thinks this will be a season of Monday Hangovers, but I’m seriously reconsidering swinging back to my Steelers roots (it’s...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Because really? Neither AB or I can get this out of our heads: I’m sorry, I know it’s old, but freshly reintroduced last weekend. The scene when both JT and Samberg are standing on the pier and do that little side-step dance, I die....

Mel

Jessie Steele WINNER!

I want to thank Single Edition again for an awesome giveaway opportunity. Please take the time to sign up for the Single Edition’s awesome newsletter and check out other styles of aprons for both kitchen and salons at Jessie Steele (there are so many favorites). In any event, Congrats go to Amanda, who submitted a three-course meal for my your pleasure. Please email me your mailing address:...