Yee-haw!

I could ramble on for pages about my mini-vacay to Nashville.

Day One
It took Stef and I around 7.5 hours to drive down a couple states to visit Miss Spider in Nashville. I passed the Maker’s Mark Distillery. Half-tempted to stop… awaiting the sign for Jack Daniels. Along the way, Stef and I took in some spelunking activities in the WORLD’S largest cavern: Mammoth Cave (Kentucky). Here I saw enough bugs and men with axes in the woods than absolutely necessary. The cave tour was around two-and-a-half hours. I was excited to ride a school bus.

Our arrival to Tennessee prompted a “getting to know Nashville” night out. First comment: there are hot men in my type EVERYWHERE! I realize I have a much different taste in men than my friends—that’s okay… more for me! We started the night off at Bosco’s (local brew pub) much like your Willo Brew/Rocky River Brewing Company. They have this Flaming Stone Brew that’s got a nice kick to it. I enjoyed their IPA and Germantown Ale. We ventured over to Demonbreun (street name) where there’s a row of bars. We went for OnTheRocks/Gravity — Two bars much like Liquid/Fusion of Cleveland (sports-type bar one side, and martini bar on the other). The best thing about OnTheRocks is their 40 oz beer special which is served in a paper bag. The placement of the bars is horrible though—they’re in the back, which is not very pedestrian friendly for restroom patrons.

Of all places to be in Nashville, a fellow blogger from Thursday Night Fever picked me out of the crowd, and I shared a few drinks with him. Thanks for the Jack! These bartenders in TN pour the BEST drinks I’ve ever had. Two was my limit tonight after all those beer flights. This night I saved a number in my phone: Henry Schlossberger. Who comes up with this shit? The girls in this particular bar were MEAN! (“Get off my girl, dick…” heard in passing). After the bars, we spent driving around the downtown area near the honkey-tonk bars. I was obsessed with finding myself a cowboy. Obsessive/Obnoxious… same difference. I proceded to scream “woos” out the window until I had the child-lock slapped on me. The night ended with some club sandwich (sans turkey) at this coffee/sandwich/freak warehouse.

Day Two
Woke up too early, and I had headache almost all day. Damn beer! Shortly after waking, tried to get into the local coffee shop for breakfast/brew (non-alcoholic  kind). There was a line. Had to get Starbucks (Yum! They have the Eggnog Latté again!) The craziest thing about this city: people wait in line for HOURS just to get pancakes from the Pancake Pantry (A Nashville Tradition). I will not wait hours for breakfast; I don’t care how good the ‘cakes are. There was a hot guy (again) in the coffeeshop. I told him quietly while I was waiting for my pumpkin bread. He didn’t hear it apparantly until he got to the front door. I got the turn-around-for-one-last-look… look. Funniest T-shirt of the day: Uppity Negro.

The gang went over to Wild Oats for their fake Thanksgiving sampler dinner. I hate T’giving food; I had Sparkling Water. Naps were in order for the afternoon. Thankfully we did because this was a crazy night! Artrageous! (in its 17th season) was the special event of the day. We were hired to interact with the crowd as characters from Vegas. We chose Cirque du Soleil; we had more fun with the feathers/make-up even if we weren’t close to acquiring their “look.” What I didn’t know: we were at the gay event of the year! I talked to so many people this night that actually flew in for the event. There were so many hot men at this event; if there were one straight hot person I would’ve married him. I never expected to have so much fun in Nashville. I’m beginning to think I could live in a place like this.

Could you ever imagine seeing Gloria Gaynor perform “I Will Survive” live? Never thought that would happen in my lifetime. Of course, I danced… There was a fun couple there (also characters) we partied with most the night. The husband told me all about Sedona, Arizona and how he had enlightening experiences there. He gave me his necklace to bring me “good luck” on my trip out there. I don’t if he were some sort of prophet, but he advised me to go to Sedona. I will. Thanks, Amy for allowing us the opportunity to be part of Artrageous!

Day Three
FINALLY! Coffee at Fido. Cute dog themed restaurant/coffeeshop. Today was our touristy day. We started off driving around the city. Saw the Parthenon, Musica, Opryland Hotel/Gardens. There was a Titans game; we were able to see the stadium and most of downtown before the game let out. Downtown consists of so many fun shops/bars/restaurants. There was live music in EVERY bar/restaurant on the strip. We met a cute lil’ cowboy in one of the western-wear shops (I just wanted a belt buckle!). He was from Ohio! Too small a world… Funniest T-shirt: My mom told me I could be whatever I wanted. I became an asshole. We shopped a bit in the HUGE outlet center just outside the city. I left my cell phone in the restaurant; what a nightmare! Luckily, they put it aside (nice Southerners!), and I was able to pick it up just in time for a random call from back home from the Hot Fireman. Interesting… and random.

The Opryland Hotel’s Botanical Gardens were breathtaking! (I also saw another tourist with a Steelers jersey; I asked for a game update). Inside the Hotel/Gardens was my mecca: Jack Daniels Lounge. I did not even drink as I was intoxicated by the sight of my favorite man in the world. Spent the rest of the evening with funny videos and friends.

Day Four
Drive home to Cleveland. Asshole pacing us with his mini-van. He makes obscene chicken clucking gestures. Must be some hot mating call here in the south. I flicked him off. (Surprisingly my first of the weekend). We see hot men at gas station in Kentucky; they wave/I wave. I drive home to Ohio. Geesh… some things never change.

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