Worst City to Live

1. Cleveland – The obvious choice for worst city to live in is Cleveland. Not so much because of the lack of culture. Nor is it the lack of a thriving night life. And it is not the constant economic pall that looms over the city. What really makes Cleveland the worst city in all of America is the fact that it shares many of these qualities with other cities – such as its Ohio Twin, Toledo – and refuses to acknowledge it. As a recent article in the Washington Post pointed out, Cleveland peaked in the 1930s and has been on the downslide ever since. To make matters worse, the Plain Dealer – the local city newspaper – found that the higher a young person’s education degree, the more likely said person was to move out of Cleveland. In fact it was one of the only three major metropolitan areas in the 1990s to experience such a mass exodus of intelligence. In essence, smart people leave Cleveland while the dumb stay to crank out children and watch the Indians games. Now if you said this to the average Clevelandite, they would call you an a-hole, pound their fist on the table, and insist that Cleveland has just as much to offer as New York City or Chicago. It’s almost as if the citizens have become desensitized to the obvious. At least the Toledoans have a clue, but Clevelandites like their city just the way it is and they’re damn proud of it…with the closed steel mills, and bad wing joints, and those horrible blues bands that all play a terrible rendition of “Mustang Sally.”

Although slightly humorous, this article makes me want to bang my fist on the table, and yell “dammit, assholes…” Oh, wait a minute… Ahhh, Cleveland. First you send off the men with the higher educations, then trim the fat in the police and fire departments. A woman can’t even find a good steel mill worker anymore! Apparently there’s no shortage of men in tight pants playing in blues bands. C’mon now, “Mustang Sally” is a great tune!
Here’s the Top 10 from Bully Magazine
10. Seattle: citing yuppies with VW’s and the freak from the Verizon commercials. Oh, and their respectable #1 entry in the Highest Suicide Rate — is it because of the rain?
9. Toledo: “devoid of life”
8. Los Angeles: something about famous people coming there only to have the city destroy themselves.
7. Salt Lake City: Hey, I kind of like the idea of Mormonism!
6. Cincinnati: full of white, Christian fundamentalists that are apparently racist.
5. St. Louis: poking fun of the arch, and Bob Costas
4. Atlanta: anyone that has to nickname their own city is hiding the fact it really SUCKS!
3. Miami: full of beautiful people? Nah… how about cheesy-ness at its finest.
2. Phoenix: people obsessive with air conditioning and golf.
1. Cleveland: not for the lack of culture OR nightlife.

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