Won’t you take me to… Swingtown, PLEASE?!

When I was younger, I was a huge fan of the show “Married with Children.” While on one of our weekend-with-my-father visitation schedules, my sisters and I turned the channel to Fox for the new episode. The TV was instantly shut down by my grandma with a stern warning not only reminding us that television rots the brain, but that “Children” promoted bad marital values. (“But my mom lets us watch it!”).

At age 9, I barely knew the context of values besides “It’s just wrong!” and “You’ll get burned!” let alone why being a stay-at-home mom with no cooking skills, two kids, a dog and a husband that has a certain fondness of his balls, was an immoral slice of life. I never craved Bon-Bons or a Beehive dyed red (or a husband that sold shoes, for that matter). Perhaps that bit about the trampy, over-sexed daughter with the blonde hair and bad-boy boyfriends kind of stuck. Regardless, the scolding provoked an internal behavior modification that there was something very, very bad (and highly un-Catholic) occurring in that sitcom, and that placing your hand down your pants and smoking cigarettes was very, very funny. Later in maturation, I realized that if prevention of skewed perceptions of marriage was what my grandmother had in mind, I need not look further than my own family for examples.

The usual suspects (ie: the conservatives, which may-or-may-not include The Department of Moral Values on the front lines) are all in a tizzy once again with CBS’s new primetime goldmine called “Swingtown.” According to CBS, Swingtown promises to peek into the shag carpets (seriously, is that pun intended, as I have seen some 70s porn and it is very shaggy, if you know what I mean) during the social and sexual revolution.

Which brings me to being all grown up (and 30 and unmarried), yet here I am with a slightly more skewed (almost perverted) view about relationships, love, and something called the “Sanctity of Marriage.” I am certainly no peace-love-save-whatever bread child of the 60s generation. The 70s, baby, they were my decade (And damn, can platforms and perms please come back?).

I may not be a true definition of a “swinger” as I truly have no desire to do full swaps or anything (even if double penetration pictures get me all flushed). I’m more of like a 3-person max (and hopefully they have boobs) kinda gal. And besides, if I am getting all busy with another guy… how can I watch?

Any form of entertainment that crosses the proverbial “line” gets my panties all wet. (Yeah, I know, enough with the idioms). I am even more a tingle with the introduction of this (family) drama to highlight a sexual and personal lifestyle choice to the masses (and those torpid, up-tight, sexless haters). Obviously, since the 70s (and the influx of porn and dating sites on the Internet), more and more couples (and their “friends”) are leaving their closets and basements… and hopefully, ridding themselves of all that shag carpet.

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