Anyways, a tailgate is a tailgate and a beer is a beer (oh, but it’s NOT!) So, thank you very much to my Cleveland Browns for resisting the need to embarrass us hometown-lovin’ sports fans once again. Please feel free for any and all haters of all-things-southern-Ohio to give a hearty welcome to my one-fingered “Cincinnati Salute.” After bouncing around Blind Pig for longer than welcome — and after hearing the gleefully “It’s-my-birthday” consortium of drunken guy friends — we end up at Diamond Men’s Club. Wait a minute, how the hell did I end up with a 12-pack of Hershey’s bars and a sixer of Snickers in my purse? Where was I again — ah yes, the nudie bar. There certainly was no shortage of circus boobs, so I asked the waitress to bring me something in a more reasonable size, and preferably dark hair, but certainly not in the most lady-like of manners or language. Ten minutes later, the male manager comes by and asks, “Who ordered the brunette with the real tits?”
I promise you, I really am a woman. So, blahblahblah, went to Waterstreet for hummus and burgers and the day o’ brown-and-orange was done. I had to take a power nap… to do the airport pick-up thing with the man at midnight.
So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, I bring you my Cleveland Indians! Monday was a GREAT night to head up to Jacobs Field. By the way, fair-weather Cleveland fans, you can suck one huge for not filling up the stadium at such a critical series. Big ones? Suck ‘em. Small ones? Suck those too. Completely ridiculous. Have you not NOTICED we’re a WINNING baseball team? I mean, I still go in hopes of bumping into Dellucci in the dugout, but the GAME.. .the GAME, people! Geesh. Even I made amends with those sad Tiger fans at the Thirsty Parrot afterward.
And to the nice Tribe fan that congratulated me with a draft Octoberfest — much thanks, stranger!
NEWSFLASH: Tuesday night’s game was this season’s EIGHTH sell-out. Eight. That’s it. Over 5,000 tickets for Tuesday night’s game were walk-ups to Jacobs Field. So, 42,103 (or so) people FINALLY had the right idea last night. But seriously, EIGHT? Only EIGHT sell-out games for the season. What am I missing here?
