There’s a place called “For Hookers Only.” It’s a place for fishermen.

I bought an iPod! I know, I’m probably the last person on earth to exclaim those words, but I digress… I was going to wait for potential surprise birthday present, but decided I would gift myself. I really wanted the shuffle — which is what I bought. It’s smaller than Orbit gum. My life is mainly in shuffle mode anyways, so it’s a perfect fit. I purchased through (what I thought would be) an easy online Best Buy process. You know: you buy online, choose your closest store, and pick it up. The lady at customer service was none to trained to deal with such a minute detail. She left the counter after I gave her my receipt from the online transaction. Uh, I could’ve done that. She came back with nothing.

Again, I could’ve done that.

She remarks, “Is this for an iPod Nano?” I go from zero-to-instant-bitch, “NO! An iPod Shuffle. (Read the fucking paper!)” She picks up the phone to call that department. I begin to tap my foot quite impatiently.

She hangs up the phone. Walks to her right. Ooh, what’s that with BIG BOLD LETTERS spelling out my first and last name taped around the box… my iPod. Where it should be. And being so freakin frustrated, I forget to give her my rewards card. Dammit! In that insanely long process, I could’ve shopped their entire CD collection, bought a refrigerator, and STILL picked out my own iPod.

So, I am no longer the last person on earth without an iPod. Now, for birthday presents I will require: iTunes gift certificates, an FM Transmitter for my car, and an armband/sleeve for working out purposes… or a new digital camera. Thanks, buh-bye!

I’ll be into some shit this weekend. Just wait until I post again.

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