The final leg of my Phoenix journey

Frontier Airlines apparently has a huge following not only for their record for “most on-time flights” but the on-board food and personalities they hire. Some of the funnier moments with flight attendants were on my return flight from Phoenix to Denver (with the plane with the “pretty little kitty” on the tail).

On seatbelts: If you weren’t a product of the 60′s onward, we’ll show you how to use these things.

On waterlandings: In the event this flight turns into a cruise, give your seat a big bear hug…

On oxygen masks being released: If the airplane loses cabin pressure, oxygen masks may fall from above. Stop screaming… then place the mask over your face… If travelling with 2 or more children, place the mask on the child you love the most.

On-board policies: Federal law prohibits (among others), coloring on children.

I had a good chuckle, but you could easily point out the passengers that were ultimately freaked out to fly — which I always believed the humor helps.

I have a three-hour layover in Denver. I end up at www.cowboybar (why there’s a “www” and no “.com” is beyond my Colorado explanation). I firmly believe they served 3.2 beer as I easily pounded 4 and wasn’t feeling a damn thing. Although breaking the seal while 30,000 in the air was classic. I also enjoyed some perfect-food-to-eat-before-flying loaded nachos. So, back to the www.cowboy… I figured it wouldn’t be too long before someone would start up a conversation with some random Midwestern pretty lady at the bar by herself. I meet Jeremie from Utah. On his way back from Nashville headed back to Jackson, Wyoming to take his kids to a minor league baseball game. His conversation included blasting all the (immature) 22 year old girls he keeps meeting, the “rules” magazines place on dating rituals, his development projects, thoughts on upcoming baseball and the passing basketball season, and the fact his boss has a private jet and frequently flies them over to Anguilla… and oh, would I like to go?

After about an hour-and-a-half, we exchange business cards since his flight leaves about 30 minutes before mine. As he leaves, he pays my entire tab at the bar. How nice and unexpected was that?

Well, my flight was delayed a half hour. The crew wasn’t even landed at Denver yet and we were forced to play some state capital game while waiting. I make plans to leave town for Easter. Another perfect opportunity to catch up on baseball highlights, I purchase DirecTV. Too bad I have no cash on me to order another beer inflight. Oh yeah, cheese-filled pizza sticks for dinner with marinara sauce. Yes, there are still meal services on flights. I could’ve had a muffin too if I wanted.

Even with the delay, we still haul ass back to Akron-Canton airport and landed the exact expected arrival… and then I see snow and I want to go back. There go those tanlines…

My sister and her husband and T-cupp showed me such a great time while I was here. (And my brother-in-law kept me nice-and-fed). I miss it already. I can’t wait to see my niece again too.

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