Maybe that’s my problem. I’m not getting laid. And to be honest, I really have no desire to lay or be laid right now. The thought of getting into something emotionally sweaty again just churns my insides.
My surroundings have made me feel very meh as of late. Although I feel as though I’m on the brink of being interested in a Mr. Potential. Two actually. I have made happy face at two people in the last couple weeks, but I can’t muster up the energy to get off my ass and be proactive about the dating thing again. Getting passed over twice in one year has really done a number on my ego. And the number is not Number One. I feel very last place. And you know what else? I never do well with the multiple-suitors dating scene. I have never been able to juggle time or emotional schedules with trying to figure out “Which one?” in reference to being “better” to date. I meet one person, I date them. I either continue to date them, or move on. Then I date someone else.
I have lost a bit of my spunk, I think. OK, not-so-much, but I really wanted to use the word “spunk” in a sentence today.
You know what else about dating? I disagree with the concept of giving yourself too much time and space to heal. I think this either makes me uber-resilient or a total heartless wench, but I really don’t need much time to compose myself and move along. I have my short mourning period, then I am thinking about next. Maybe this is fucked up, but it seems to work. I don’t think it has anything to do with being afraid to be alone or similar negative single person mentalities; I am just a relationship person. Being single is certainly a blast, but I don’t prefer it. So, so be it, if once one loser is gone, I go searching for the next one. I don’t need any extra time to figure out me. I know who I am. I know what I want. I know what I’m looking for. There is a ton of fun in searching for it, but I guess I need a GPS to find it. Or maybe I’m just tired of making the first move.
Updates: I have received ZERO calls/e-mails/etc. on my condo. I’m sure the next call from my Realtor will be a suggestion to lower my asking price. It’s only been a month, but I am gosh-darn impatient.
Work is overwhelming me, at least to the point where I have a shit storm that seemingly never cleans up after itself. And then any trace of energy I have, I waste walking about Target with no make-up and remnants of a clay mask around my hairline. (Oh, I really did that, and let me tell you, I understand the funny looks now). So, I suppose I can keep using this for an excuse to not be overly friendly with people.
My tattoo is starting to get tight and itchy. It has some nice blistery action beginning too. I forgot all about the time length of the healing process. At least I am past my plastic wrap sleeping stage. Which, by the way, my tattoo post was the highest viewed post in history of my blog. Yeah, you guys! AND this past Monday, I broke another unique page view record with my readers. So very, very awesome. I think I should get more tattoos to further increase my readership. Right?
Thinking: You’ve got to believe that God is in control of your life. It may be a tough time but you’ve got to believe that God has a reason for it and he’s going to make everything good. - Joel Osteen
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September 24th, 2008 at 9:03 am
Emotionally Sweaty is my new favorite phrase ever.
PS - Cleveland blogger meet-up? (meet-up meaning get too drunk and then wake up the next morning to find out 13 people have posted about your antics the night before - at least thats my plan.) Let me know if you are ins.
September 24th, 2008 at 10:48 am
Narm - I am totally ins. I promise not to take my clothes off in front of strangers. Unless, that’s a requirement of the RSVP.
I only hope it’s during the week, since it seems most people only blog at work, and never, never on the weekends.
September 24th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
I think I’ve had a similar Target experience.
September 25th, 2008 at 10:34 am
I understand the ups and downs. I have them often.
I will make the Joel Olsteen quote my new mantra. Thank you for that.
September 25th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
what would cosmo suggest?