You take the good, you take the bad… you know the rest.

The good news is that I can return to contact.

The bad news is… well, I’m in a cast for another three weeks.

And the perplexing news is that I have to figure out how to skate with and cover/pad an even bulkier (than the previous one) cast so that I can participate in contact drills.

But the fun news is that my new cast glows in the dark. Catch me at the next open skate!

Silver lining, anyone?

And here’s your earworm for the day:

{the week} runners, skaters and more road trips

Do you have favorite road trip foods? Mine have always been Nilla Wafers and 50/50. But since I’m becoming a LOT more annoying conscious about what I put into my body… well, frankly, both of those things SUCK. Also, why the hell can’t I find REAL ginger ale?! I did find some moderately healthy ginger cookies (which have an ingredient list that I can read and understand), but how do I replace my fizzy goodness? Meh.

the week:
I haven’t had cereal in over a week. Hold me.

weekend:
Good Luck to my friends who are running the Pittsburgh Marathon this weekend! How I would love to be on the sidelines cheering for you, but I’m off on another roller derby road trip to Lancaster. I’m SUPER excited about some highlights in the reviews for my hotel: all the crime scene, without all that pesky yellow tape and chalk tracings. o_O

If you stick around Pittsburgh this weekend, take advantage of Free Comic Book Day at your favorite local shop (ahem, New Dimension Comics), the Toonseum AND the Power game.

seven things, seven days:
1. {perky} My friend B from Florida home-roasted me some coffee beans and shipped them to me this week. Can’t WAIT to brew the awesomeness.
2. {therapy} OK, shopping therapy. I was initially looking for a pair of hot pink skinny jeans, but then I saw a pair of bright teal ones. MINE!
3. {obsession} Currently coveting SO MANY THINGS on NastyGal. Remembering that I’d like a new bathroom some time this year…
4. {bonding} Was fun to host some of my skating friends this week for an after-practice strategy session.
5. {melting} I hate the humidity. I try my best to adjust and be happy, but my hormones just won’t allow it.
6. {wrong way} One day I will learn how to navigate the east end of this city and remember its pervasive “no left turns” signs. One day.
7. {countdown} Officially counting down the days ON ONE HAND until my birthday. Excuse me while I do some impulsive online shopping to numb the pain.

Skate (b)log: Sweetheart Roller Derby Valentine’s Bout

DERBY IS BACK, PITTSBURGH!
Come out Sunday, February 5 (4-6:30pm) to see a roller derby battle of the heart (or lack thereof) — The Hopeless Romantics vs. The Blackhearts (ahem, that’s me) in the Sweetheart Roller Derby Valentine’s Day Intraleague Bout.

$5 admission for singles (are you ready to MINGLLLLLEEEEE?!); $8 for couples of all levels of happiness (or misery). And hey, there will be a special open skate session afterward. Stick around and skate with some of your Steel City Derby Demons.

Romp n’ Roll Skating Rink 1661 E. Sutter Rd, Glenshaw, PA 15116

Skate (b)log: New derby bounty!

The 2012 roller derby season is upon us — new practice schedule and a NEW TEAM (woot)! Break was nice, but I’m ready to get back on a regular schedule. That said, a long season of derby does some significant damage to your gear (I should probably, definitely replace my knee pads). Among some of the (smelly) things I need to replace in my skate bag, I needed a few upgrades this season:

New wheels
Loving my new Lowboys. They are amazing wheels and perform well on our wood rink floor. And they almost make me feel like I know how to do a proper plow stop (but I should probably give myself a little more credit, no?).

New boots
Sure Grips have become my preference for skate boots, and this pair is one of its newest models. Same size 6, but fits better than my last pair. Hopefully they don’t take an entire year to break in… and that I don’t have any new rub spots.

New plates
MAGNESIUM! 45-degree trucks! So much change here! Yes, I need to practice in these Avenger plates a lot before I use them in regular practices. The yellow cushions might be too hard, but I’ll be testing (and possibly switching them out) at open skate.

My next search will be for the elusive “perfect toe stop.”
Get any new gear this season?

{skate (b)log} officially official

Sure, I’ve been skating with SCDD since April… but there’s just something “official” about having the league track jacket with your skater name embroidered on it. I’m also officially a rookie now, rather than Fresh Meat.

My fellow skaters nominated me for the Grade A Fresh Meat award this year, to which I am SO proud (I was one of three amazing newbie skaters, but did not take home the prize). But seriously, I am so honored to be a part of an immensely talented class this year.

I cannot wait for the 2012 season to start.

Next Thursday: Toys for Tots benefit!

Next Thursday, November 3, come out to see the Steel City Derby Demons for our 2nd Annual Toys for Tots scrimmage. The Grinches are challenging Santa’s Little Helpers (guess which team I’m on) to see who has the most holiday cheer….and best hip check. Starts at 8; don’t be late!

Admission is $5 ($3 for Military w/ID) or FREE if you bring a new, unwrapped toy. All proceeds from this event go to Toys for Tots!

{Skate (b)log} My First Bout

This past Saturday, the awesome happened.

All the training and nerves and old lady-body creaking and bruising came to this moment — I skated in my first bout with my team, B-Unit, against Akron’s Rubber City Roller Girls.

Not only that, but my first time playing was as a jammer…

AND I GOT LEAD JAMMER.

Last bout of the season: SCDD Double Header!

LAST BOUT OF THE SEASON on Saturday, October 15!

While the end of the season is sad and all, my team — B-B-B-B-Unit — will be playing Rubber City. AND there’s a slight chance you might actually be able to see me play (cross your fingers and skates that I make game day roster). Regardless, come by and say hi — and watch some awesome local derby. Steel Hurtin’ play San Diego Derby Dolls to complete the double header.

Doors at 6:30; Bout starts at 7pm. At the Romp n’ Roll in Glenshaw.

Get your tickets, bitches! $10 advance online through Brown Paper Tickets or various locations around Pittsburgh. Or if you know me IRL, I have them for $10 too. $15 at the door.

A Black Eye Affair: BE THERE!

It’s one part art auction, one part fundraiser — and ALL PARTS FUN!

Here’s what $25 gets you:

COMPLEMENTARY BOOZE (your ID is required) from Three Rivers Underground Brewers, Boyd and Blair Vodka, Capital Wine and a special spiked punch created by one of Salt of the Earth’s bartenders.

FOOD from Avenue B, Square Cafe, Burgatory, Chipotle and Death by Cake (NOM!)

CHINESE AUCTION items from Cotton Factory, Scarehouse, MUV Fitness, Sharp Edge (beer basket!), Jester’s Court Tattoo and the Steel City Derby Demons will have some of our own merch up for grabs.

ARTWORK (I mean, why else have an art auction, right?) from current and former skaters.

Plus, the ladies and gents of SCDD will be in attendance for the event (including me *waves hi*).

So, be at Modern Formations Gallery this Saturday from 7-11.

BUY TICKETS NOW.

Skate (b)log: I PASSED SCRIMMAGE TESTING!

So this means, after MONTHS of fresh meat status (seriously, over a year if you count my short stint with Burning River last year), weekly practices, skills training and tests, bruises (LOTS of bruises) — and yes, even some tears of pain and frustration — I am eligible to be drafted to one of our teams.

FINALLY.

It’s, like, official, official now. I AM a Steel City Derby Demon.

Hard work, determination and a whole lot of passion can take you anywhere. True story.

So what: I cried at fucking derby practice.

It’s happened to me three times now — that I’ve had actual tears well up in my eyes during roller derby. Believe me, if I could turn off my emotions completely, I’d opt for that. But as I’ve aged, I found that controlling the roller coaster that is frustration and overwhelms and whatever it’s called when your body just doesn’t agree with your head… well, it doesn’t work. And it inevitably turn to waterworks.

Last practice started off well enough; I felt great on my skates and totally looking forward to a strategy session “special” practice. And then during a drill, my face received a hit. Not a flailing arm or a wayward elbow, mind you, but a full-on swooping shoulder check to my fucking face. So hard that it ringed my bell pretty bad. I saw stars. I immediately felt off balance. Which resulted later on in a headache. And I silently feared concussion because I’m always one for “worst case scenario” in my brain. I was a little disjointed after it happened and attempted to shake it off — getting even a reassuring “that will happen” from the sidelines. But as I stood waiting for my turn again, the longer I waited, the worse the pain grew. And when I finally sat down beside a friend and talked about what happened…

I fucking cried.

And I couldn’t turn it off for the remainder of the practice.

Or the ride home.

Then I choked on tears and cat hair and Fruity Pebbles when I arrived back to my apartment.

Am I embarrassed that I cried? No. Defeated? Maybe a little. Do I think it makes me weak? Hell no. If anything, it will only make me stupid enough to want to do the same thing all over again in hopes that next time MAYBE IT WON’T HURT SO FREAKIN BAD… MAYBE next time I’ll get it. “It” being whatever skill/drill/strategy we’re working on. Or the time after that. And if not this week, then by next month I’ll be screaming internally “I GOT THIS!” My emotions may not be the strong ones over here, but I AM.

This is why I love roller derby. Anything else like it — especially that would have made me cry so hard — I would have quit ten times over. But not this.

And perhaps this is exactly why I get so emotional over it.

Skate (b)log: I PASSED!

Here’s the gist: I passed all portions of my WFTDA minimum skills test (last month) and my contact skills (last week) — 100%, w00t!. Next week, I begin scrimmaging with the Big Girls, with the goal of (passing that as well and) being draftable once I am well-versed in all forms of positioning and game play.

Then, I went and did something to my calf muscle over the holiday weekend. Playing stupid cornhole is when I first felt something going on in the back of my leg. Whether it was an existing derby injury that I didn’t feel up until that point, or something in my throwing bags stance (for seriously) or maybe even jumping-off-the-boat-and-pulling-myself-back-in (which I totally wasn’t supposed to do with stitches, but I had to friggin’ pee) a couple days before… well, something is pulled/strained/tight. And hopefully, nothing worse.

As of this morning, the pain has thankfully subsided, and I can walk/put all my weight on my left leg again. But there’s a lingering tightness that I feel mostly when I’m walking up the stairs.

Some things:
1. So grateful this didn’t happen prior to testing.
2. Mother-effer, I best be at 100% to start scrimmaging on Monday!
3. I tested with ZERO NERVES last week. Finally, some confidence in myself and my skill level.

If you need me, I’ll be on the RICE diet for the remainder of our hiatus this week. And making scrimmage shirts with sMEL U L8R on the back. *grin*

Top photo credit: Golden Ankh

Skate (b)log: a brief update before contact skills testing

For me, roller derby has been this cycle of wishing I could do something, saying “I can’t do that”… then being able to do that very thing and remarking on all the skills I’ve awesomely acquired over the last one/three/six months. I’m at that point in my training where I “picked off where I left off” — meaning, what I was learning in Cleveland before I moved is what I am currently doing in my Fresh Meat program in Pittsburgh.

And disappointedly (and frustratingly), I don’t feel as awesome of a skater as I did ten months ago. I still push myself as hard as I can every practice, but for the first time (in quite a while), I received feedback that wasn’t so good. Mostly, in reference to my whips. Yes, I “get” that most Meats have trouble with this; but for me, it was devastating, since I thought I was actually OK at giving them. I know that I’m not the biggest or strongest girl in the league, and I will always be at a disadvantage because of my size in THAT capacity. I’m trying, but it’s incredibly difficult for me to adjust to how differently everyone grabs/touches/lets go and for me to throw someone (especially on the inside). So, being naturally pro-active about this disadvantage (instead of sulking about it… or worse, crying), I’m now I’m on a super-motivated training regimen of excessive heavy lifting to attempt to gain more strength before our contact skills testing at the end of the month.

Which is in ONE WEEK.

I can always be stronger, even if I didn’t really want to “bulk up.” Two weeks ago though, I couldn’t life a ten-pound dumbbell. True story. I mean, I’m sure I’ll look back and think, “Remember when I couldn’t give a whip for shit?” and laugh about it (while I’m hopefully crunching 20-pound weights). But right now, I’m… well, freaking out.

This past week, our Fresh Meat class “performed” during halftime at Steel City’s public scrimmage. I was incredibly disappointed with my “performance” as my nerves really got the best of me (no more of that!). I took myself out of bounds NOT “running from a hit”… *sigh* I wasn’t even on the track for 10 seconds.

Also, last weekend, I skated in the Pride Parade with Steel City. THAT was so very, very awesome — especially seeing/hearing how our fans freakin’ love roller derby. Heart.

In the meantime, I’m going on a road trip this weekend to ECDX (East Coast Championships) in Philly with some fellow Meaties. Super excited to see some amazing derby action for three days and maybe catch up with some of my former league-mates.

Skate (b)log: Week #2 of Contact

Another “meatie” from my Fresh Meat class in Cleveland was drafted to a home team. And as happy I am for these girls and their respective roller derby successes, I can’t help but feel… left out. Like, I missed my chance because I moved. If I stayed with BRRG, I would already be bouting; I might already be on a team too… (and dammit, I miss my old training gym!). I would be well into my derby career, instead of STILL a fresh meat. Some days, I really miss my first team… a lot. I guess that’s normal, right? Granted, that long-distance shit sucked.

I made the decision to leave my former league before skills testing. And I had to wait all these MONTHS to re-join, let alone get to a skill level from where I feel I left off. I know that I’ll eventually get to that level (and perhaps even more competitive, at that), but… well, there’s that lingering “but.” I’m not so arrogant that I think I know how to do everything. I don’t. In fact, when skaters know I have a history (and as much as I want to help other newbs or brag about it), I feel like I’m not measuring up to some undetermined standard. And then I wonder if I’m not as good as I used to be. That’s likely just ME getting in the way of ME.

What if I didn’t move? is just NOT a healthy manner of thinking. Everything FEELS natural to me in practice (which is good… I think), besides my love/hate relationship with my skates. Still. And I attempt to make certain skills “tougher” for me, when it’s something I’ve done in the past.

Thankfully, all my fellow meaties are an amazing group of mood-lifters and crutches, who will hip-check me into reality and out of self-loathing (and I am certainly not “easy” on them during hitting drills either *wink*). We all collectively want one another to get better… to BE better skaters. And the vets encourage and motivate us — such a LARGE group of Meaties can’t be easy either. Practices are also incredibly fun (read: sweaty) and intense. If I’m in a “mood” when I go in, I’m much better when I leave. And on some level (even if I have my moments of self-doubt), I feel this “waiting period” will make me a better skater.

I’m in a reflective mood today… good thing there’s practice tonight.

Bruise Update: Oh man, I got throat punched during pack falling drills; jabbed my knuckles into my own sternum during a fall forward; fell sideways on my knee (which caused my kneepad to swivel sideways, causing a mean-looking bruise near my kneecap); got stabbed in the arm by someone’s sharp-ass velcro during a pack drill; and a worse-than-being-hit double-pinch of my underarm while practicing J-hooks. Give it time, hip checking is in full effect… and I just FEEL bruises stewing on both sides.

UPDATE: Yeah, practice DEFINITELY improved my mood tonight. And without even asking, I got some great feedback. Bad mood effectively hip-checked.

Skate (b)log: Non-contact skills testing COMPLETE.

Oh, and I passed the shit out of that.

For non-contact WFTDA skills requirements, you are tested on the basics: skate posture, stops, falls, glides, gallops, weaving… and I feel like I’m forgetting something else important (does it matter? Because I PASSED). I received a big fat P — for “perfect”. Ahem, no — it means “pass.” Let me tell you, I was going to pop a hip out if I had to, in order to get my plow stops before that final set of cones (my first was decidedly better than my second attempt… regardless, pass).

Bonus: I achieved 30 laps in 5 minutes. Never mind that I fell on Turn 2 on Lap 30. I was well on my way into completing 31… do I ever have to do laps again?!

But what does it all mean? That means I move on to contact, bitches. And bruises. *swoon*

Skate (b)log: Can vs. Can’t

When I started skating in February 2010, there were a lot of skills that I just could NOT do. I’m sure many beginners have that defeating feeling. As I progressed through the wRECk program (in Ohio), I was continually frustrated at what seemed to be easy things to grasp for others, just weren’t happening for me (of course, this not knowing ANYTHING about anybody else’s skating, athletic background, etc). You know, until one practice you just GET it — be it a plow stop, or in a more recent case: skating backwards.

A few months ago, prior to tryouts, we were asked which skills we felt we could do vs. what we still needed help with. I felt as though most of my answers were advanced beginner to intermediate, but skating backwards? Nope. Couldn’t do it. As proved by the ONE open skate I decided to not wear my elbow pads:

Never. Again.

And just as important as skating backwards, is the continuous movement from skating forward to backward. I can now DO THAT without falling, without going up to my toe stops (my trick was to “sit” into my backward skate more) — and I can even do a couple crossovers, though with all eight wheels on the ground still (so is that technically called a swizzle?). Baby steps. But I know that I WILL get the step one day as well. As with almost EVERYTHING I’ve learned. Naturally, or with continuous practice, it will happen.

I sometimes wish I could “I can’t” away with the emotional part of the frustration.

You know what else I couldn’t do a couple months ago? Open my hips up enough to be able to get in a mohawk position. Even when I wasn’t skating, I was regularly practicing my “first position” while brushing my teeth, while doing the dishes. It’s not required… for well, anything, other than I’ve seen some amazing skaters do this, and I have this laundry list of accomplishments for myself, aside from just general skills for testing. But for whatever reason, my hips don’t like this (they don’t lie either) — and I have to squat REALLY low in order to get my ankles to line up. But guess what? I can finally stand that way on my skates — and I hope to eventually grasp that motion while actually SKATING.

Seriously. Who is this person?!

It’s amazing what things become second nature, once you’re regularly practicing. Also? I could totally do plow stops in my outdoor wheels, so I’m convinced my problem is my wheels on my new skates and the rink surface. I think I might switch back to my old wheels (Flat Outs) until skills testing is complete. It could be quite simply that perhaps these wheels (MOJO) are just not for me or that my old wheels are worn in the way I like ‘em. At first I liked the MOJOs because of how light the aluminum hubs felt… but I don’t know, maybe I need to mix-match some wheels and pushers or something like my last set up. I definitely don’t feel like I’m gripping the floor at ALL. Especially doing laps.

Which, by the way, I did 29 in 5 minutes again. I’m nothing, if not consistent with that. We’re doing this once a week, yet the mere mention of timed laps STILL gives me bubble guts.

But let’s not talk about the small groin strain from either this weekend of outdoor, 11-miles of skating or the combination of that cardio work and last night’s practice. Honey, sorry, but those frozen peas were in my crotch.

Skate (b)log: first Fresh Meat practice!

Oh, structured roller derby practices, how I missed you and your butt whooping.

Last night was my first Fresh Meat session with SCDD, and I was beyond pumped. Personally, it was a perfect night — I felt so awesome in my skates (although I still have some rub spots, I think they’re FINALLY starting to “mold” to my feet). And then, I lined up, ready for racing drills…

AND MY NEW FREAKING TOE STOP POPPED RIGHT OUT OF MY SKATE.

What. The. Hell.

But I didn’t let it shake me (it does feel mighty weird without a right toe stop, however). I left the floor, quickly reattached it, then came back to my line to do at least once run. Seriously though, I could only laugh, as I JUST upgraded to Gumball stops, and everything seemed tight and screwed in before practice.

Afterward, we were split up between a couple groups and worked on a few stops and knee falls. There was also side-stepping and galloping and hopping (oh my!). Obstacle courses are always fun.

Near the end of our rink time, one of the vets announced that we would be doing laps. TIMED LAPS. Since I had never been timed, and I generally think that I’m a quick skater, I was curious if I could meet the 25 laps in 5 minutes requirement. Keep in mind, this was after already busting ass for the last hour and forty-five minutes. And you know what?

IT KICKED MY ASS.

About lap 15, I thought my left knee was exploding out of my protective gear. But I kept pushing (attempting to do mostly crossovers throughout the oval, but it was tough with so many skaters on the floor).

Result: I KICKED ITS ASS! 29 laps in 5 minutes.

I was worn out, started seeing stars like I was about to pass out, and couldn’t get my knee to stop pulsating… but I did it. I can only imagine it gets better (or that I push myself so hard that I throw up, which is totally my style).

YAY, me!

{PT} Skate nuts

You know those hanging balls that dangle from the hitch at the back of hoopties? OMG, I hope you do… Well, I FINALLY saw a pair out in the wild last weekend, while up in the North Hills. I wasn’t quick enough to snap my own picture, however.

And while there is technically no balls in roller derby, YOU CAN ACT AS THOUGH YOU GOT ‘EM while you’re being awesome on your roller skates!

Yes, it’s exactly what you think it is.

{h/t to Church Lady for making my blog a THIRD TIME… I tend to think this is going to be a season worthy of a LOT of Penis Tuesday topics}

Skate (b)log: Suspense

Is the suspense killing you?

Well, the anxiety nearly killed me — you know, the WAITING for hours after tryouts. I mean, I should be used to the “waiting” as it’s been nearly six months since I’ve had a “home” to call for my roller derby passion. Thankfully, I found out the results the night before, else I would have  been pacing for the next 12 hours (and crying — either over disappointment or excitement). Or ripped a new hole in my stomach at the very least (or was that because of those fried cheese balls I ate?). Totally making up for my nervous stomach by eating massive amounts of Lucky Charms cereal today too (not my favorite choice, but that’s what the boyfriend bought when I requested a bad “sugary” cereal… yeah, he needs work).

Any-who-doodle.

Result: I MADE IT INTO THE FRESH MEAT PROGRAM FOR THE STEEL CITY DERBY DEMONS.

And *deep breath* I am beyond excited, and I cannot wait to skate with the newbs AND vets. Well, I have to wait a few more weeks — practice starts April 5. Lesson: if you work REALLY hard for something you want, you typically will get it. And now, I will work really, REALLY hard in my fresh meat program to try to get a spot on one of the teams next season. *wink*

Or… *hip check* out.

Skate (b)log: It’s that time again.

Yep. That’s me in the “Overeasy” eggs-on-my-breasts shirt.

I haven’t posted much about my skating progress because it’s been filled with a bunch of open skates spent dodging “womb fruits” (as one of the girls in my “pre-fresh meat” group calls ‘em), getting comfortable in my new skates, attempting to help out some of the other new girls with skills that I’ve already learned. That, and weight training and running.

The fun stuff (the derby stuff, natch) starts THIS SUNDAY.

And of course, I’m irrationally freaking out. I’m terrified that I’m going to injure myself before tryouts. My nerves lend to dreams of being kidnapped while in my derby gear (by that lead actor from the old TV show, “Coach,” no less…).

Just a thought: maybe I had Poltergeist on the brain. I DID just read an article about random sleep disorders thanks to Dr. Drew, which included sleep hallucinations involving “ghosts.” Random.

I am SO excited to be a part of a team again. To have my ass (awesomely) kicked in regular, scheduled practices again. To maintain and strengthen friendships with the girls I’ve skated with over the last few months. To cheer on my teammates. To be completely and totally motivated. To get better, faster, stronger (in brain radio playing: Daft Punk, of course). To get involved with something bigger than just myself.

I keep in touch with several skaters from my Cleveland Fresh Meat class who are gearing up for their FIRST BOUT this weekend (and I so wish I could be there, but you know, traveling AWAY from Pittsburgh, I irrationally fear that “something will happen” and somehow I’ll miss being back in town for tryouts *breathe*). And I’m kind of starting all over again. I have mixed feelings about that, naturally. But man, have I missed roller derby more than anything since I left BRRG (before tryouts, sadly). I even miss the bruises.

I’m so ready (or so I keep telling myself).

Alas, no matter how many times I tell myself “you GOT this!” I’m terrified that I’ve somehow forgotten to train appropriately.

So, just excuse this tangled ball of nerves until next week.