Mel

{conversations with the boyfriend} it’s too loud; you’re too old.

Watching Inception (a terrible movie) on Blu-Ray...{open to read commentary}

Mel

{conversations with the boyfriend} what-a-burger?

Boyfriend: Would you be offended if I put your cheeseburger on an English muffin? Me: Um… those are cinnamon-raisin English muffins. Dammit. A Michael Symon Lola burger sounds SO GOOD, no? I can’t think of a single burger that would use a cinnamon-raisin muffin as its bun though. DO YOU GOT ONE,...

Mel

Not it. Well, I’m not it either!

The boyfriend says he does not use these towels. Yet, they end up this way Every. Single. Day. This is no fault of this household’s felines. That, I assure you.

Mel

{shit list} how many times do I hold back the swearing in this post?

I'm mature enough to know my own faults -- my character flaws (there are many) -- and accept myself warts, anxiety-fueled, enlarged pores and all. One of aforementioned... ahem, "blemishes" is getting irrationally angry without too much provocation. The boyfriend, he doesn't understand these angered outbursts because, well, he's an emotionless freak of nature. So, thankfully, it doesn't happen often. While some of his rational thinking has rubbed off (heh) on me in terms of subsiding my uber-sensitive side, the flare-ups of being really, really mad burns deep sometimes... so much so, that I have something resembling a minor panic attack, combined with the sudden ability to not be able to speak. True story.

Mel

The epitome of Battle of the Sexes.

This is dumb. I brought to this relationship an almost-new hand can opener that has the most awesome of rubber grips and non-rusted, can cutter-mechanisms. Seen on left. His: old, rusted, barely turns, hardly cuts and is completely awkward to use. Seen on right. We upgraded most of his hand-me-down utensils and such when I first moved in; my “stuff” was noticeably nicer — and lesser...

Mel

Ex-ploration or Ex-ploitation?

There was a time when I used to write about my funny or OMG-that-didn’t-really-happen stories related to ex-boyfriends. When AB & I got together, I stopped. It was a combination of being too happy to dwell in my past misery and a part of letting the past be the past. But I think I might start to share some of those soap operas again, as I feel those memories have a part in shaping how I feel...

Mel

A rant from a hormonal lady who needs to get laid.

Every once in a while, this blog gets moody. Blame PMS (but not this week!) or the general nature of following an aging, hormonal 30-something with a bitchy streak. But today, this post has a little of the sad. And a whole lot of intoxicating influences. Also, I have to give credit to Kitten Kaboom for encouraging me to post this after her recent emotional post. I agree, that you rarely read about the lesser-than-awesome parts of a blogger's life. But we're human, right? And some of us need the outlet...

Mel

The rhythm is gonna get you all right.

We’ve been living together for nearly two years. After recently obtaining joint accounts for our mutual bills, the natural progression (by my continuous nagging, of course) was to combine our iTunes music collections. We have, like, 8 computers in the house — each storing a different folder of music. I have an old PowerMac G4 with all my classic rock stuff on it, that I had no access to (given...

Mel

Fully Functioning as a Joint Couple

Now that we’ve finally got around to doing “it” (and by it, I mean surrendering ourselves completely to one another), we’re proud parents of a joint checking account. I mean, it’s wholly overdue, being that we’ve practically lived together since Date One (that fatefully-drunk St. Patrick’s Day) — now at our second cohabited place of residence. And have now...

Mel

I don’t have a life insurance policy!

Since this flu/cold/immune system compromise thing has kicked my ass for yet another day, I missed our apartment building holiday party last night. Naturally, I sent AB down for food because they typically put out a serious spread (including beer and wine, which if I was well, would have been all kinds of awesome) — just a few nibbles, being that I don’t have much of an appetite. And he’s...

Mel

We eat in public, so I cover my mouth.

With my inability to cook (aside from my awesome lasagna last night — you’re WELCOME), you think I wouldn’t complain so much when someone else is doing it for me. But I have problems — some would call phobias — about certain foods in public. But then, last weekend I had a CRAB ROLL IN MY MOUTH by accident. I cannot fault myself, as I am a newfound sushi lover, having eaten...

Mel

“Stop Being White Trash!”

That’s what the female counterpart yelled at her male companion while he walked at least ten steps ahead of her on Penn Ave. Likewise in anger, there was another old man all sincerely pissed off that he couldn’t find an unlocked entry door at Heinz Hall. Then there was a guy across the street from us arguing with someone passionately. Without knowing the back story, these people were MAD,...

Mel

“You’re not wearing that shit in our home.”

Deciding which items come and go while packing for the move has been… fun. I’m just happy we have an actual storage cage IN the building for some of our excess shit like bikes and camping equipment and tailgating clothing. And the new kayaks. *wink* Seriously, Cleveland apartment managers, extra storage space for residents somewhere within an apartment building is something to consider during...

Mel

Easter givings, food and offerings of cheese.

How was your Easter? I am seriously on carb overload. But YAY for Spring dresses this year and mojitos. And… that gorgeous bruise on my hand. Speaking of cheese, the Cheese Club at West Point Market in Akron is amazing. As such, their selection is equally as awesome. We came home with a honey nut gouda, aged habernero cheddar, and an never-before-heard and deliciously-buttery Bruges. Friday, I spent...

Mel

My boyfriend’s world

There is an even bigger generation gap beyond the years that separate us: When talking about popular lead singer, Susanna Hoffs… he had NO CLUE of whom I was speaking. You know, “Walk Like An Egyptian”? Geesh… Tragic, these kids born IN the 80s. Vending machines dispense awesomeness… at a price: I don’t use vending machines. We never had them at any of my offices....