Life, Liberty & Pursuit Of Your Boyfriend

Is there a world where Mondays don’t exist? But then all the annoying “Monday” crap would occur on Tuesday, right? But Tuesday is Penis Tuesday fun day, and I somehow find that exciting. Or maybe that is just penises in general. *sigh* Regardless, I need to find a way to start sleeping on Sunday nights. I tossed-and-turned way beyond Cheaters and both late night South Park episodes. Then, I’m pretty sure I was watching PBS talk about jellyfish and Great White sharks in captivity at aquariums… or I have some seriously messed up meanings in my dreams. Moving on… Weekend, people!

Friday was the Cool Cleveland party at Ingenuity Fest in downtown Cleveland! I am a huge proponent of the everything Cool Cleveland is trying to accomplish; however, I was disappointed with the party. We arrived a little past 6 (by means of the FREE downtown Cleveland green trolley) and all the food was already gone? We had our choice of chocolate-chip cookies and brownies. Thankfully there was still beer to at least get close to the price of an eighteen dollar ticket. But we wandered around and mingled and checked out gross human hair artwork (seriously). There was a pretty cool fashion show in the lower level too (I think by Kent State students?).

After the CC party, we received an invitation to a rooftop celebration in an adjacent building (another $20/pp, and I am awesome for not carrying cash). There were probably less than 20 people there, so I guess it felt very VIP. The cucumber/basil Ingenui-tinis were amazing and refreshing though (two free with admission). The creator of the summery martini is a bartender at the new Tartine bistro that recently opened in Rocky River. So, we hung out for a little while, watching the band perform below, noticing that there really were not a lot of people walking around at the festival.

Once back on the main level of the fest, decidedly, we needed to eat. It was actually pretty cool to walk through all the back alleys, all decorated and lit. Also, a DJ was set up in a back lot location. Pretty sweet. Of course we found pieces of “art” in which to pose. We stopped for a while to watch some CRAZY — and I mean bat-shit crazy — band perform. The lead singer was dressed in a yellow jumpsuit with a panda mask. We also wagered bets as to how long a certain make-out couple had been dating. Humorous and gross at the same time.

We walked up to the E4th area and had dinner at Zocalo. The restaurant is gorgeous! First up, a couple tequila flights, then expectedly, an enchilada for me. I wish I could remember which tequila was my favorite; one of the flights was “Best in Show.” We each found a shot we liked and bought for the other to try. I was impressed with the food (and our server told some hilarious jokes). I have heard some people talk about bad food in the past, so it seems as if the addition of Aaron Sanchez in the kitchen has made all the difference in the menu.

Then, it was beers over at Flannery’s. And it was a late night! Friday night was a complete BLAST. Have you ever had that feeling when you have an awesome night that days later, you remember and a huge smile stretches across your face? Seriously, somebody tell me how to bottle that. And as far as I’m concerned, you can have as many “do-overs” as you want!

I know, I know, you’re already tired, but there’s still Saturday:

After a three-hour afternoon nap to recover from the previous night, it was time to meet up with all the sexy ladies for my friend’s Bachelorette Party downtown. First stop was the Velvet Dog rooftop. Apparently, the place to be for your “last night of being single” party — there were at LEAST four additional bachelorettes celebrating. VD is always extra-cheesey, so I assume it only fits perfectly into what bachelorette parties are all about. After exchanging dirty gifts and attempting to pull some sort of party gene out of my tired ass, our limo arrived to take us to the Powerhouse Pub for the male review (but we had pizza on the street first). Again, this was hilarious and disgusting all at the same time. But seriously, a man in a thong is NOT SEXY. And neither is sweat dripping from your stubbly balls. Ew, but you just had to get in the moment and laugh your ass off.

When the show ended at midnight, it was back to West 6th. We started at Blind Pig for the cover band, then ended the night at Ultra (Liquid downstairs). I had a lot of drunken sexy dance moves, inappropriate motorboating into my friend’s breasts… and Panini’s for a second time — bacon/egg/cheese/mayo deliciousness.

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