Performancing Metrics

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No, it’s not. You’re wrong.

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As previously mentioned, the boyfriend and I suffer from a variety of communication issues (as I’m sure MOST couples can relate to).

Because of that, we have the stupidest arguments. Anyways, I was totally PMS-bitchy this week and kitchen-sinked him about his poor cleaning skills and something about fecal matter on the counter. Seriously, he put the LID of the litter box ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER. I flipped. OUT. I probably digged on him for not working out regularly too because that’s what females do — we get it ALL in when we’re pissed.

I shit you not we bickered — on a sub-freezing chilly walk over to the casino — whether a restaurant in Cleveland served family style meals (it doesn’t) and whether it was set up for large parties (it’s not). These sort of “discussions” typically end with AB saying “I’m done.” And then the communication is cut off. BECAUSE HE IS APPARENTLY ALWAYS RIGHT (ahem… not).

Surprisingly, our relationship is super-healthy because he eventually concedes (I know, I am TOTALLY irresistible even when angry), and I just silently clean everything with bleach and Lysol. We rarely raise our voices, so our disagreements can never be referred to as “fighting.” And by “we,” I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that mad, and we’ve already established that I’m a nagging bitch, so that sound is most definitely my shrilly voice.

Also: I go to bed angry. I wake up happy. And return to my semi-loveable self after having twelve cups of coffee.

What was your stupidest fight in your relationship?

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