So, does the dress code specifically say “No Slippers”?

I’ve often complained about uncomfortable shoes. My mission was to find a few pairs of flats or sandals to wear this summer, now that I’m a downtown dweller and frequently walk to where I need to be. Aside from a pair of Doc Marten sandals — in awesome condition, mind you — that were purchased last DECADE, I haven’t had much success.

I buy majority of my shoes at reasonable prices, which I realize is only the beginning of my problem. This reasons are two-fold: a) I refuse to pay exorbitant amount of money on “trends” and b) with nearly 100 pairs of shoes already in my closet, chucking another $20-$30 on “one more pair” doesn’t typically result in much guilt.

This summer is different. I rarely wear heels anymore and, well, I wear slippers for work. My feet HURT when even wearing what were previously labeled as “comfortable.” I assume at some level because I have no “scar” tissue/padding at the bottom of my feet built up from the wear of “uncomfortable” shoes on a regular basis. Ladies, I know this makes sense to you. My feet only feel good in roller skates (random) and tennis shoes… which does not a cute (or practical) summer wardrobe make.

Be that as it may, I began my hunt (again) for a pair of sandals-with-a-purpose. Enter Shoes Got Sole and THESE guys:

I know of Bass to be a reputable, comfortable brand for shoes, so my initial impulse was “awesome,” followed by a “Thank you for your purchase!” by the website. That said, I was apprehensive about the strappy-ness, which proved to be a kick-in-the-nuts on their first venture out. These sunnamabitches tore my feet UP after walking four blocks to Progressive Field. And I still had to wear them the remainder of my morning, the length of the game and my walk home.

This is exactly why I travel with band-aids.

So, the straps are made of leather, which I am told will “soften” over time. Why the eff do shoes need to be “worn in” in order to be worn comfortably? Is this what our feet are left with, where with all today’s modern technology and innovation? So, fuck it, I wore them to Pittsburgh (with a stern warning to AB that we not walk any further than a few blocks because of MY EFFIN’ SHOES!).

The second wear went much better, considering I still had scars and healing skin from where the shoes and I battled the first time. The third wear was this past Saturday, on a multi-block walk and back from our apartment to the Wolstein Center — everything is going to be all right with these cinna-minny Bass sandals, me thinks.

We won’t even talk about the second pair that I purchased (to use up the remainder of an my credit) that will barely buckle over my feet and they are the SAME SIZE. Of course, not worthy of returning for how cheap they were, and that I, in some warped portion of my brain, only hope they will “stretch” in similar manner because OMG THEY ARE SO CUTE *squee*.

Can we start a public policy already on women’s sizes, please?

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