Skate (b)log: The Indecision | Life, Liberty & Pursuit Of Your Boyfriend

Posted by Mel on Sep 30, 2010 in Skate (b)log | 0 comments

As much as I miss roller derby, I love my new life, where with its relaxation and NO PLANNED PLANS… and limbs without bruises. I enjoy spending time with the boyfriend at home, without having to miss saying “good night” because I’m not home until after 10 (and you all know, that boy is in REM sleep by 9) or missing dinner because I have practice (and I’m back to living on Apple Cinnamon Cheerios again).

And yet every night that I miss the opportunity to drive to a neighboring city for practice, I beat myself up about not having the motivation to start over. That somehow my social anxiety wins once again. I miss the intense exercise, the adrenaline high from the speed, the stress release from hip checking someone to the ground and the ability to push myself to do things I never knew I was capable of. More so, I miss the camaraderie of the girls. Women, much like myself, who never cared that I was socially awkward because some of them are too. That we all get discouraged, anxious, scared, hurt and ache just the same — no matter our body shape, size or skating skills.

Then, I wake up with aching shoulder sockets (seriously, from sleeping?) and grindy hip flexors (even for my short time participating), which makes me reconsider my thoughts about continuing to play. But then I think about my calves and ass and how they could use a little skate time to redevelop into fierce muscular definitions. And that I probably have another two-to-three good years in me.