{Shoe Porn} Platforms

*sigh* a sad day for my closet, to de-clutter and rid myself of wardrobe demons (read: stuff I’m clinging to for far too long). In an effort to justify my new purchases (yes, THREE new pairs of shoes… I have problems), I gathered enough to fill a large shopping bag for donation. And even some shoes were caught in the crosshairs of my spring cleaning. It’s like therapy. But better dressed.

I’m not that graceful in heels. I walk super hard — a stomper, if you will. Surprisingly, I wore these platforms a LOT in my early 20s. I am now 33 (creeping on 34′s door), and there is NO REASON for me to hang on to these in a somewhat reclamation of my youth. For one, the right heel has almost always been wiggly, yet I WORE THEM ANYWAYS (can I blame them for the multitude of drunk falls in my lifetime?). For two, I am not much of a hooker anymore. And thirdly, I could barely stand in them in my living room. Who needs to provoke broken ankles, when I need those to play roller derby properly?

These leopard-spotted flatforms should be happy it got a second day in the fashion sun. Because a) flatforms are ugly as all get out and b) these hurt my feet like a mother trucker. Yet, I clung on to them in hopes that their style would return, and I would be ahead of the trends. If the soles are any indication, I think I wore them ONCE. I bought them nearly 12 14 years ago when I was a manager at Gadzooks (loved that store, R.I.P.). And now that they are back in vogue, I’m finally ready to part with the little jungle bastards. As much as I want to save them, perhaps someone with a bit more funky style could appreciate them more than my closet shelf. Size 8 (a SMALL size 8 and definitely meant for a more narrow foot) and the black spots are fuzzy, like velvet. Want them? Email me. I’ll send them to you (or you can pick them up in Pittsburgh). Seriously, they’re mint condition (aside from the glue of the insert peeling from disintegration a bit).

But you must send pictures.

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