{shit list} how many times do I hold back the swearing in this post?

I’m mature enough to know my own faults — my character flaws (there are many) — and accept myself warts, anxiety-fueled, enlarged pores and all. One of aforementioned… ahem, “blemishes” is getting irrationally angry without too much provocation. The boyfriend, he doesn’t understand these angered outbursts because, well, he’s an emotionless freak of nature. So, thankfully, it doesn’t happen often. While some of his rational thinking has rubbed off (heh) on me in terms of subsiding my uber-sensitive side, the flare-ups of being really, really mad burns deep sometimes… so much so, that I have something resembling a minor panic attack, combined with the sudden ability to not be able to speak. True story.

So, when I presented a vocal list of “things missing” from the move, and the boyfriend’s reaction to one of its items — something completely, wholly irreplaceable and quite “security blanket” in nature — was a smirk of stifled laughter, countered by a deadpan “I think I threw it away”…

*breathe* Well, I freaked the fuck out on him, naturally.

And that reaction is one part being really, really sad that I might no longer have said item. And another part is really, really pissed that he would unjustly toss something OF MINE in the trash of physical, emotional and sentimental value without so much as an inquiry to its presence.

I’m pretty sure that I’m going to bed angry.

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