For investigative purposes, I had to delve into the psyche of modern-day hoochbags. What better way to start than to search my personal photo files to see if I was also an early-20-something hoochie (NSFW!!). Research concluded… I was.
Ladies and Germs, I give you Hoochie Exhibit “A” (Sorry, they’re all in pdf, as we did not have digital cameras in our early 20s and my Photoshop program is crap).
This was taken circa age 21 in a hotel somewhere in Tampa. This doesn’t look so hoochie, but the photos taken later that evening at Pleasure Island in Orlando, promoted that “I forgot I was wearing a dress” feeling.
This was taken during the Millenium New Year’s Celebration at The Velvet Dog — prime location for today’s selective hoochie. This, I’m sure, was an outfit from Rave (maybe Gadzooks). Nice open-back top (with ties keeping it together) and clear stacked heels from Steve Madden. Holy New Year’s Hoochie! And yes, that was some guy that I was dating at the time. *shudder* Apparently I misplaced my party glasses…
Look at me on the left. I didn’t even develop REAL breasts until my 30s, but I certainly tried everything to mash-and-press-’em up to no good. I’m surprised my areolas weren’t hanging out! The dark tan and platinum hair definitely upped the ante in this Super Hoochie style.
I certainly out-did myself on this night out in Myrtle Beach! I’m practically wearing a bandanna around my breasts (again, with two straps keeping it on in back). Good thing my skirt went to my knees, I suppose because you can’t have too much hoochie. I think because of my dangerous tan that I actually look OLDER here than I do now. Interesting, young hoochies… interesting.
This is the creme de la creme of Hoochie Whore-mania! Can you believe I was with my family in the Carolinas when this hot pink number was worn? Certainly there is no bra strap in sight and the dress was a light rubber material. Yes, rubber. The ultimate in hoochie wear! And hot pink. I seemingly wore a lot of pink in my early years (ew), yet I can’t stand to wear it these days.
What I do not know, is if this makes me now very, very prude (doubtful), or old. Please don’t pick old. Perhaps I have developed more of a “mother” gene that keeps me aware of young hoochie girls, thereby enhancing my need to protect them? But for what it’s worth, ladies… show it while you got it. Because one day, you might be embarrassed that all you cared about was being hot.
Sidenote: Also looking in these photo albums/boxes, I saw the caliber of men of whom I was attracting attention. Either my tastes have changed significantly, or I also dated douchebags.
Are/were you a hoochie?
June 12th, 2008 at 11:51 am
we so would have NEVER been friends.
omg you are/were one of those girls on w 6th that i hate. ugh.
well at least you admit it and hopefully now have reformed into a bit of a more classy woman.
so to answer you question i was never a hoochie. um, no.
June 12th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
We can be friends now, Alexa, as I am no longer a hoochie. LOL
June 12th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Here are some of the bad things I wore– Not sure if they are hoochie though. You judge.
Skunked my hair with blonde chunks. (naturally a brunette)
Made five friends (they are idiots for listening to me) wear snakeskin pants bc the girls in Coyote Ugly did to a school dance.
Wore backless shirts — yes, even in front of my parents. Although, they were from the Limited or Express so they weren’t terribly tacky.
Hands down though. You win with that plastic rubber number! Where did you buy that at! All you need are some clear heels to go along with it.
June 12th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Is there a guy version? Let me know and I’ll bust it out on W 6th this weekend.
June 12th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
what in God’s name were you thinking with that pink rubber dress?? Didn’t you look to see what everyone else was wearing? Most of your other exhibits were still cute though, just a little slutty…
June 12th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Yes, I must admit, I was a hoochie back in the day. We would’ve been the best of hoochie friends if we had known each other back in then. I am reformed now and I wonder what I’ll tell Presley when she is older?
June 12th, 2008 at 10:32 pm
I actually really like the color of the rubber dress… oh but the bleach blonde hair in Exhibit C - yikes! That one was by far the worst I think. Oh well, I can’t talk, I have some photos of my own from the “dating the band” gig days. Pleather galore! Isn’t it nice to be in your 30s now and realize it was all so silly?
June 13th, 2008 at 12:17 am
that pink dress is FUN-NY!
was i the only one to wear those mini skirt/skort things from contempo casuals with those chunky strappy heels? ewww…
June 13th, 2008 at 1:43 am
LMFAOOOOOOOO! O M G too funny. I am a bit older than you and have the BIG ASS 80 HAIR Hoochie mama thang going on lol! No scanner so can’t share
Have a great weekend!
June 13th, 2008 at 9:15 am
I must say that I have not laughed as hard at one of your posts as I did at this one. I think you develop a sense of reason with your self, as you become more of an “adult”, that there are things you just shouldn’t wear. Case in point: Every flannel I have ever owned and every picture I have of me wearing said flannel shirt with shorts and hiking boots……circa 1998. Glad you are back to posting on a regular basis.
June 13th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Oh no, C. I wore that combination too! WTF were those things, an excuse to pull it up and be like “Weee! there’s shorts under my skirt!” LOL
June 15th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
Holy smokes! I actually remember each and every one of those “hoochie” outfits that you wore. I never really considered you hoochie though? I just always said, “Damn, she has the body so she can flaunt it”. Looking back, you definitely outdid yourself with a few of those outfits. I have been friends with you for what seems like YEARS… and I can honestly say you look much younger now than you did back then.
Love you, miss you~!