*blue balls not included.
This gets a no. A sincere “no, I will go nowhere near your nether regions if you are wearing rhinestones, no.” I am NOT a promoter of bedazzling your vag either, for the record.
Your penis should not be pretty! It’s the rule of the sexes. You were stuck with the ugly sexual parts. And forever you shall be. And thankfully, evolution got rid of your “spikes.”
See the penis bling (and all the ridiculousness said by its “promoter”) here: After vajazzling comes pejazzling. {Daily Mail}
Seriously, can this un-sexy body decoration business stop. Adhesive crystal tattoos went out in 2000 (regardless of strippers and hoochies saying otherwise). And they should stay there. STOP TRYING TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN.
This blog is about pursuit: a transplanted Clevelander (me) in a new city (that's you, Pittsburgh!), pursuing the role of a self-employed copywriter, becoming a roller derby badass and somehow merging all my to-do items into one ever-growing Bucket List.
And of MY boyfriend. His blue balls started this mess.
