Performancing Metrics


{PT} Luxury Condoms


I’ve probably overwhelmed nearly every pun for putting on a condom, but when it comes (heh) to the ORIGINAL Condom, having safe sex is no joke. In fact, it’s something of a luxurious experience. You know, because you have such discriminating taste… with those random, various anonymous vaginas.

“Condoms protect everyone from disease; ours protect from tackiness” – G. de Bizemont

Oh, the French.

The Original Condom: Safe, but elegant.

Actually, that’s Safe Sex with elegance, chic and eco-aware. “Safe Sex” is capitalized, FYI. The messaging, well, doesn’t even make any sense from this copywriter’s standpoint, but whatevs. I suppose that is besides the point, but something is definitely lost in translation here.

While I can applaud the humanitarian efforts behind the product (is that a TWSS?), I find it hysterical there is an option for a package that is meant to be displayed — as inspired by jewelry. Or completely ridiculous pretentiousness, as it were.

Enjoy some history of the condom in this company PDF. Also, I did not know the “original” condom (in 1839) was meant to be used up to five years. *puke*

{h/t to the multiple people who sent me this}

  • The Modern Gal

    Maybe it’s the next step for teenage guys who keep condoms in their wallets, you know, just in case (cough cough, for show).

  • jimi remick

    I’d like the dos equis world’s most interesting man to do their commercials. He can say all suave like: “I don’t always use condoms but when I do it’s Original Condom”

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