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{penis tuesday} Even though sometimes it’s a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis.

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Here’s a story about a cannibalistic spider with not one, but TWO detachable penises (pen… penii??). Because when he’s done, he’s done. And he can just detach himself and move on to the next one.

WELL ISN’T THAT A PLAYFUL METAPHOR FOR THE MALE SPECIES OF ANYTHING?

I cannot read this story, of course, because… well, mother-fucking SPIDERS. And clicking the link to the Live Science article produced the tip (heh) of a photograph of said arachnids near the top of the story. I was not about to scroll down to see dual-penised CANNIBALISTIC eight-legger in all his natural habitat glory.

Quite frankly, even thinking about this will give me nightmares for eight weeks.

PS, Mel: DON’T FUCKING GOOGLE “DETACHABLE PENIS,” HOPING TO NOT SEE A PICTURE OF A SPIDER WITH A DETACHABLE PENIS!
GAH!

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