Today’s Penis Tuesday is extra creamy. We have ourselves a fabulous Holiday Penis Tuesday Giveaway!
Princess Patti contacted me about her fun handmade items being sold on etsy (remember, the awesome handmade website I mentioned in my Gift Guide?), and I have been cracking up endlessly as result. I swear she and I were cut from the same sperm.
The penises come (heh) in nude, as well as colors (and rainbow!), and you will have your choice. She will ship it to you just in time for the holidays too.
It's a crocheted penis fest!
Buy a penis-shaped chapstick holder! The chapstick fits snugly within the “shaft”. They make phenomenal bachelorette favors. What bride-to-be wouldn’t want one? This cute little contraption is about 4 inches (poor fella) from tip to end. The keyring is your typical key ring and chain attached firmly between the testes.
**Chapstick is not included.
To the Giveaway!
Patti has offered to give three random winners one of her handmade penis chapstick holders! I’m sure you’re thinking, “Self, who in the sam-hell would I give a penis chapstick holder to?” Have a bachelorette party coming up? (I’ve had a number of friends get hitched in cold months). And everyone has a perverted aunt or Grandma! Imagine the look on Granny’s face as she runs around Christmas morning trying to poke everyone. Ahh, the photo moments.
Or keep it for yourself and lube up in penis style when your lips get a lil’ chappy.
All you have to do is leave a comment and tell me who the perv is in your family. Or just tell me that you wished I was part of yours. I know, I know, I liven up every party.
Three winners chosen at random. Leave a comment, tweet the contest (then leave me a comment) or post to your own page (it should automatically pingback into the comments).
Winner will be selected next Tuesday, when I suggest my favorite penis items for your gift exchanges.
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December 8th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
It’s a tossup in my dysfunct fam. But, I do have to say I’ve learned my best material from my mother, who also happens to be my best bitch. I can think of a few of my friends that would LOVE this keychain!
December 8th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
I do wish you were part of my fam…..but I have to say I’m probably the perv/weirdo in my family…I would totally give this to my wife though!
December 8th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
Everyone is my family is pretty publicly repressed. I’d probably give it to my best friend… who incidentally is Clevelandpoet’s wife.
December 13th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
Can you make a vagina or anus?
December 14th, 2009 at 5:57 am
I think I would give it as my secret santa - great idea. Can you make them bigger to get larger penis? Sure my secret santa person would love that.
December 14th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
I have a Pervy older cousin who watched our house once when I was in HS. He walked around in a towel from sun up to sun down. Bogus.
December 15th, 2009 at 8:09 am
[...] up this week: Tuesday is the last day to enter the Penis Tuesday giveaway, courtesy of the ever-gracious Princess Patti (and her crocheted penises). I’ll have a Gift [...]
December 15th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Considering that my mom never gets any of the dirty jokes my father tells nor did she understand why a pink triangle represents lesbians, it’s definitely not her. I’d say it’s a tossup between me and my Dad though he may win out with his years of construction worker banter that he brought home to the dinner table. Classy with a captial K.
December 15th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
True pervert right here.
December 15th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Heh. I think you should talk your mom into eating at a Pink Taco out west.
June 14th, 2010 at 7:40 pm
[...] 7 contestants, chances were good for winning one of these bad boy parts. Thanks to everyone who entered (and to those many, many more who read, but were too embarrassed to [...]