*blue balls not included.
While I’m warming up, the foreplay portion of this post is dedicated to the ladies of Christie’s. Without you, Guys’ Night Out truly would have been well… me just getting naked. To which I fail miserably. Especially after tequila and the taste of cocoa butter on my tongue… What?
Without further ado (or taps on the shoulder from the floor guy), today’s It’s-Not-Cheating-If-They-Don’t-Touch-It, Overused-While-Intoxicated and Hanging-Around-12-Guys Phrase of the Day is Dutch Rudder.
Because really, doesn’t everyone need a back-up during masturbation?
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This blog is about pursuit: a transplanted Clevelander (me) in a new city (that's you, Pittsburgh!), pursuing the role of a self-employed copywriter, becoming a roller derby badass and somehow merging all my to-do items into one ever-growing Bucket List.
And of MY boyfriend. His blue balls started this mess.
