*blue balls not included.
Summer’s done and left me. No more hot dogs in my buns for a while.
Did you know that certain phallic-shaped food items actually have aphrodisiac effects? I figured I would list the foods you eat that pervertedly suggest the dirty, dirty on the penis while eating them:
The obvious selection, hot dog — they don’t call ‘em wieners for nothing!
Banana — comes with its own condom.
Fish sticks — oooh baby, dip it in my tarter sauce!
Corn on the cob — don’t matter, just don’t bite it.
Popsicle — just don’t get your tongue stuck.
Cucumbers/zucchinis — come in all sizes and curvatures.
Laffy Taffy — hey, some guys are small… and limp.
Carrots — and some are skinny.
Eggplant — ripened fatty and purple.
Sausages — hot sausage, preferably.
And the mother of all penis-shaped yumminess, the eclair — you think cream-filled was an accident?
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This blog is about pursuit: a transplanted Clevelander (me) in a new city (that's you, Pittsburgh!), pursuing the role of a self-employed copywriter, becoming a roller derby badass and somehow merging all my to-do items into one ever-growing Bucket List.
And of MY boyfriend. His blue balls started this mess.
