*blue balls not included.
Fossil penises. Yes, repeat after me: Fossil penises. And I’m not talking about your horny vag chasing after grandpa-aged “old drizzly.”
Since the schlong of an arthropod (spiders, insects, etc.) has its own exoskeleton, there is a chance of digging up a fossilized member in your own backyard (or maybe the ocean floor or something). The oldest known species found with a penis is a hard-shelled sea dude that from 425 million years ago called Columbosathon ecplecticos. He’s only a little guy, being only half an inch in length; however his “little” pecker? One-fifth of its body size. Uh, so tell me about the girth…
And in the “I-couldn’t-have-made-that-up-if-I-tried” department, the Greek translation of this discovered ostracode is “amazing swimmer with large penis.”
But I’m sure there is an “old balls” joke in here somewhere.
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This blog is about pursuit: a transplanted Clevelander (me) in a new city (that's you, Pittsburgh!), pursuing the role of a self-employed copywriter, becoming a roller derby badass and somehow merging all my to-do items into one ever-growing Bucket List.
And of MY boyfriend. His blue balls started this mess.
