Penis Tuesday

Last Call! Drink ‘em up, people! Today’s Penis Tuesday topic is drinking! Shocker. I’m sure most Clevelanders have dared to try a Blowjob shot, a Viagara shot (seriously, what’s in those?) or Julio’s Up All Night (at Liquid). Here are a few new poisons to keep your pecker performing:

First up, we pour you a Hairy Penis. For the hair you just grew on your chest? Or the hard blowing action?

Next, we have the Dripping Penis Juice Drink. I always liked to top my bananas off with a little whipped cream.

Moving forward, I introduce you to your Purple Penis. He’s a-ready when he gets purple.

Or the Pink Penis. Wow, I never saw one in pink. I can’t even think of a clever joke. Oh wait. I have a pink penis. In my drawer.

Get your mouth over a Little Penis COCKtail. Have I got some tail for your cock!

Then, Lisa & Angela concoct a daring Sexy Penis Curler. Hopefully, you’ll bend a little to the right. Butter? Now, that’s a new way to lube my tastebuds.

It happens to everyone: Dead Penis. Quick! Everyone grab their permanent markers — this one’s about to pass out!

Whew. I’m tipsy. I think I need a Fuzzy Polar Bear Penis. OK, maybe I’ve had enough.

But not before I figure out how to keep this down: When You Cross Pluto With Venus You Get a Penis in Uranus. Oh God, someone said a Uranus joke. Can’t. Stop. Laughing.

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