Performancing Metrics


Thank Josh Groban, No Sweetest Day.


Independent survey results show: ‘Burghers do not celebrate Sweetest Day (including one, “What the frick is Sweetest Day?” Best answer I could receive).

Hopefully these needless card company-created holidays — apparently designed for Ohio and popular for Chicago residents, which is technically a bunch of ex-pat Ohioans anyway — will not cross outside the state border to its east.

East. It’s so freaking weird living east of from where I lived my entire life. I still haven’t quite adjusted to that.

Moving on. AB’s birthday is already competing with this — and Halloween — so I’d rather just select one occasion, celebrate with some beers and maybe a can of whipped cream, and call it a weekend. But I will not let him win at drunk Scrabble.

Most lovey-dovey holiday moments are lame — up to, and including Valentine’s Day, kisses at midnight on New Year’s Eve, monthly anniversaries and spending Thanksgiving with the in-laws pretending ONCE AGAIN to like beets… AND sweet potatoes. And seriously, the Day of Sweets really only meant something if all the cheerleaders in the school and the guy you were taking to Homecoming sent you a Cookie Gram to homeroom, for you to show off like some sort of Pride of Ashtabula High School award. That glitters. And has bubble letters. *puke*

The DATE means absolutely nothing — well, it SHOULD not — to grown adults. And for shame on those who even EXPECT something to be bought/gifted/or shown off to co-workers on that day. If we NEED to absolutely celebrate romanticism (and all of your stupid baby talk), why not choose a completely arbitrary date and go balls out? Oh, there’s an event for that? But you will never take away the St. Patrick’s Day party from these two Irish drunks!

Better yet, use Sweetest Day for its intended meaning — to genuinely spread a little love or joy to those NOT so fortunate.

Like, your single friends.


For those still curious (‘Burghers and otherwise), or whom need to feel enlightened on the origins of Sweetest Day and all its inanity, there’s this info.


PT: Award-winning penises


Our good friends, the Fellatio Bats — or the scientists studying them, rather — have won the Ig Nobel award in Biology.

Science is awesome.


I was dissed by a Drag Queen.


As many of you Internet and Social Media Whores know, today is National Coming Out Day — a day for allies of the community to ensure peace, love, diversity, solidarity, civil rights and sexless marriages to all.

I’m not here to fight for my piece of the LGBT (and sometimes Q) pie, only that we need equality no matter your sexual, gender or Borne identity. I wouldn’t mind coming back as Jason Borne… you? Add to that, we need more than JUST a day. This is something that needs wholly embraced by the gay or straight (and yes, in between) public no matter the date on a calendar.

Which leads me to an interesting story when we took a visit to South Bend, Indiana this summer. For a friend’s birthday celebration, we hit the local gay bar for Drag Night. It’s a magical night out where rarely does a person feel guilt for making out with friends in public. And you know, some hilarious fun and entertainment. There was the “MC” Drag Queen, announcing the acts for the evening, as well as giving shout-outs to the gay boys, lesbians, transexuals, drunks… shit, even the local roller derby team. But when I called out bisexual — not once, but twice (with a woo!) — I was completely snubbed.

Like, OMG YOU DO NOT EXIST! *Drag Queen death stare*

Be gone figment of my Party Bisexual Imagination.

Outside in the “real world,” it’s a given that there will be eye rolling. Or video cameras. While certainly the least of first world problems, it’s disheartening and sad being dissed by your (supposed) own community. My point being is that there are several tiers of identity, and that your “label” might not correlate completely with mine — what I might identify with, another might find somehow “wrong” or inappropriate.

But shouldn’t this disparity be the beauty of the LGBT community? That we are accepted, no matter what our outward appearance or behavioral experiences (or whomever is on my arm) might display. As far as my life is concerned, I’ve completed my search, attempting to “fit” in somewhere. No thanks to National Coming Out Day (which would have been nice to have when I WAS struggling some 15 years ago as a young adult), it took me YEARS to find a comfortable place and acceptance with my identity. Even as recently as a couple years ago.

Hopefully, if you are struggling, you learn to accept yourself (I sincerely hate to hear that others are facing a multitude of ignorance, bullying and general fear in everyday life) — as I’ve learned that certain approval from others occurs as a result… regardless of the turned up noses in some seriously sexy heels.

By the way, I am a ring-wearing member of this fabulous organization.




It’s when the party begins, so sayeth Sinbad.

It’s also a decidedly nerdy day. Did you know that I have a binary tattoo? I mean it’s only fair that I post that today of all days.

Yes, I'm a total nerd.

Yes, it means something and yes, I'm a total nerd.

And that’s all that I got, being that I stayed in bed until 4 pm because of drinking 5-6 stupid beers last night. Or that damn Pumpkin Bomb. My brain is still mushy.


I’m going back to Cleveland, Cleveland, Cleveland.


(forever?) Huh. I don’t think so.

No, not FOREVER, silly — to visit. Which still sounds weird, all things considered. I wonder if they’ve rented our old apartment. *thought process montage*


Our October trip meshes well with Cleveland Beer Week (oh, the irony!)… or at least it’s uber-fantastic and drunken closing event, BREWzilla. And many thanks to Cleveland Foodie, I’ve won myself a pair of Brewer’s Circle tickets! I did say last year how sweet it is that this event/week falls around AB’s birthday, right?


Actually, I said a lot about Cleveland Beer Week last year (psst, because it’s AWESOME):

Cleveland Beer Week, aka: Best Week Ever

Cleveland Beer Week, continued…

It’s my boyfriend’s birthday, and I’m going to make you all puke!

On the 9th day of Cleveland Beer Week, my true love gave to meeeeee (ahem, Christmas Ale)

Drunk: a few more days of Cleveland Beer Week.

We participated in some sort of tasting, paired dinner or cheese and beer party every day. I kind of wish I could be there all week again.

In any event, my buddy BJ at Three Beers Deep is giving away a pair of tickets to BREWzilla! Check out his blog and leave a comment — and hey, it’s only a couple hours away from Pittsburgh. Perhaps a few of you ‘Burghers would be interested in making the trip because you love, love, love your craft beer (but please, take advantage of the Crowne Plaza hotel discount and stick around for a night).

And then pray to beef and liver giblets that his friend’s dog chooses your can… er, name.

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