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{the week} it’s 7:27, and it is dark.


the week:
Boring week, no? And totally depressing with this whole darkness-too-early thing. Regardless of how much you love fall and hate summer, THAT part is the worst of the transition.

Happy Birthday, Joe!

Tonight is our first night playing in our new bowling league. *snort* The boyfriend and I aren’t even on the same team (weird, right?), but we’re playing against one another. So, this should be an interesting evening in NO, YOU’RE NOT HAVING THE SEX TONIGHT. Also, I have to bowl with my wrist guard. I PUT THE F IN FUN… in bed.

Also tonight: Dixie Doc is playing at the Elk’s. If you’re already a fan of Banjo Night, you’ll love this.

This weekend marks the seasonal opening of Scarehouse. I HAVE to visit this year!

Not sure if I’ll make it to my spinning class in the morning, but it’s for a good cause. Err, for the kitties… and doggies… and bunnies!

But I’ll definitely be chowing down on some GOOD FOOD at the Lebanese Food Festival in Scott Township. Runs today through Sunday.

seven things, seven days:
1. Did you read part one of my Finger Lakes adventure?
2. BETA open for Stress Free Recipes. THIS is totally up my alley, and I can’t wait to get my invite.
3. So honored to be asked to be part of a Bridal Brigade for my friend here in Pittsburgh. All the fun parts of weddings, without all the bridesmaids duties. We’re on to something, ladies!
4. Randomly came across THIS POST from 2008. You know what’s significant about that horoscope? THE DAY I QUIT SMOKING. Huh.
5. We decided not to plant anything for fall and winter in our garden plot. So, I’m considering buying into a Penn Corner Winter CSA. Thoughts from anyone?
6. Good luck to friends and skaters participating in WESTERN REGIONALS!
7. Go read this blog post from Burgh Baby. Seriously. GO NOW.


{finger lakes} Day One: “We’re Dry People”


When the boyfriend and I realized that we haven’t gone camping in over two years, we had a standing date to do that some time in September. Our original intention, since we tent camp, was to do Ohiopyle again, but our interest was piqued by the suggestion of heading to the Finger Lakes (blame all the boyfriend’s random work trips to Buffalo).

More than anything, I just wanted to unplug. Like, literally.

Naturally, the boyfriend found us a campsite with electricity options… which came in handy when he didn’t charge the batteries in advance for the air mattress.

This was a first-time trip to the Finger Lakes for both of us. And in anticipation of this mini-vacation, I had ZERO idea that planning would be so overwhelming. I mean, there are HUNDREDS of wineries, it seems. And then there’s breweries and cheese and distilleries to make your travels even MORE interesting. We were given wonderful suggestions from friends for neighboring lakes Cayuga and Keuka, but were mostly left to our own decisions for Seneca (where we were staying).

And, holy hell, WE DIDN’T EVEN MAKE IT TO THE LAKE ITSELF. There is so much to see and do.

The drive took us around five hours (at least, to explore Keuka, first), but I couldn’t resist stopping in CUBA on the way up: HOME OF THE CUBA CHEESE SHOP AND ITS DELICIOUS CURDS AND AGED CHEDDARS, OH MY! (PS: they deliver)

The Hammondsport area was home to Chateau Renaissance, the Finger Lakes Beer Company and Dr. Frank’s winery.

Chateau Renaissance HAS CHAMPAGNE (and yes, they can call it that), so that’s how we celebrated our arrival. Our case was started with a bottle of their Demi-sec. They had some delicious fruit wines too (sadly, out of their cranberry on our visit).

Oh, look! Chickens!

Finger Lakes Beer Company had some awesome brews, and we took a growler of their IPA back to the campsite. They also make a nice wassail, which was unexpected.

The brewer gave us some suggestions on where to find some craft bottles in the area — one of which, a totally random FOOD store. But his selection was impressive, and we came home with several local bottles that we can’t otherwise find in PA. Also, GEORGE!

Dr. Frank’s was swanky in comparison to the Chateau (which would seem backwards, right?) But the boyfriend gleefully took me down random side gravel roads to the home of a winery with a fantastic view.

It was just a beautiful day… until “those dry people” showed up. Man, those vineyard employees have got to take some snobby shit, for sure. I just cannot see being a snob about ALL THAT AWESOMENESS. Also, totally random, but the guy sampling for us totally looked like my ex, Claymation. The hell? Their Rkatsiteli and Lemberger were enjoyed by both of us (and two varietals we’ve never had); two more bottles for the case!

There was one more stop before taking off for Sampson State Park (yes, we started early, so that we would still have plenty of daylight to put together the campsite): Fox Run Vineyard on Seneca Lake. They have a small cafe and market in addition to their sampling room, so we ordered one of their featured wine & cheese board options (Option 2) to enjoy the gorgeous day on their lovely patio. No bottles taken home (although I really enjoyed their Arctic Fox), but noted that we HAD to visit the Lively Run cheese farm for more of that Cayuga Blue.

As for the camping portion, I was mostly disappointed to see our campsite filled with campers. Luckily, since there was power at each plot, we didn’t have to hear generators and motors throughout the night.

Sidenote: what the hell is going on with that canopy?

The tent was put up in no time (ahem, thanks to me), and aside from air mattress issues, the realization that we were camping… finally… was a total relaxing moment. Even for that skunk that wandered over to our tent (we were situated back against the woods and made friends with a variety of critters). He ate our roll of toilet paper as a “welcome to the neighborhood” communication, I presume.

And then the air mattress popped in the middle of the night. The end.

Err… actually, two more days to go.


{penis tuesday} guest dick: penises are deceiving


A penile treat for you today, PT readers. A post from a special guest about a special variety of penis. True story: I still haven’t seen one in the wild.

- – -
I’ve seen some penises in my life. Not an exorbitant amount, but enough to feel like I have a good gauge (heh) on the male species. You could say that I’ve experienced a rather large (and sometimes small) sampling. I can thank my college days, bartending days and hell, just plain’ ol slutty days for those.

But there was a time, when familiarity was not my strong point. And while my moves had been practiced, my experience was left to only one man. A post relationship breakup in junior year of college led me down that long, veiny road of adventures. It was here that I had my many firsts with male appendages.

It was almost 5 years ago to this day. September, 2007. I know this because it was just a few weeks after the Big Break-up… and because I was wearing new boots, but that’s not the point. Despite my cardinal rule of abstaining from guys at my school, I found myself lusting after an eclectic sophomore. Naturally, he resembled the ex, but was more fun and only marginally mysterious.

I was still learning how to flirt, a skill forgotten in the three years I spent as a girlfriend and was fairly awkward of how to go about moving from party mode to sexual mode. An easy transition for me now, but new to me at the time.

I stood on the porch of his apartment. I was trying to quell the growing vomit feeling that was lingering in the depths of my throat. He was sitting and watching me. As I leaned over the balcony, half hoping I would throw up and half hoping I wouldn’t. As I said, I didn’t know how to move from one stage to the next. Not without being overtly sexual at least. I was prepared to go all Adam & Eve on him.

But let’s not make a long story longer: I was excited for my first post break-up penis sighting. I wanted to know if they were similar, if they reacted the same. It was a life experiment.

I arrived to find that they were quite similar. I mean, it’s a penis!

But what makes this story special? Well. A week or so later, I hung out with a mutual friend, who knew about the hookup. He asked me how I liked his one-eyed monster. Strange question. He clarified, “you know, it may not be something you’re used to.” I cocked my head.

“He’s uncircumsized…”

I think that’s something I would have noticed. I always thought it was something I would. I mean, there were no ant eaters present that night. My friend insisted. Then followed up with, “I thought you would have noticed.”


And that’s the day I learned that circumsized penises are actually just like normal penises.

They’re just a little sneakier.


{the week} I am exceptionally organized; yet, exceptionally unmotivated.


the week:
The plight of a writer: when inspiration and creativity hit, it’s often at the “wrong time” or far past a deadline (not proud). But you roll with with the motivation when it strikes. I just wish I could have my muse at all times at the ready.

With that, I’m finally proud of an article I wrote. It’s probably been a year that I’ve completed something that didn’t leave a feeling of worthlessness; it’s all too humbling, and I struggle with these emotions endlessly. So, naturally, I hope everyone else likes the piece. But I really need to work on my confidence.

Many, many things! Friday night a certain someone is celebrating his birthday at Toonseum and it’s also the opening reception for A Matter of Convenience at Future Tenant. I will probably end the evening with some pink underwear hunting at the champagne bar.

Saturday is my first spinning class. If the bone in my vagina makes it, I’ll be heading to the fundraiser for Colin Albright at OTB, then to the EatPGH Book Party (and likely, a bar crawl of Larryville).


seven things, seven days:
1. {do good} Received my first Love With Food: a monthly subscription box filled with FOOD samples. And the organization gives back.
2. {recovery} Finally hit my milestone 50 push-ups again. It’s been too long, old friend… err, wrist.
3. {sports} We joined a bowling league. Stupid excited. I mostly suck, but sucking is so much fun when you get to play with balls… WAIT A MINUTE!
4. {impatient} Already organized my closet for Fall and put away all the summer things. TIME FOR LAYERING!
5. {OCD} And the Fall comforter set is on the bed already too. Yes, I am THAT person.
6. {shoe envy} These boots from Hunter. MINE.
7. {pride} Good luck to friends and skaters competing in the Thrill of the Spill this weekend!

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