Performancing Metrics


How do YOU plan on getting attention this summer? Don’t say sex.

How do YOU plan on getting attention this summer? Don’t say sex.

Dating. I’ve heard my fair share of advice. I’ve also given tons of it in return (hey, what are dating & relationship blogs for?!). I’ve rarely listened, of course — to my own, even.

But I realize that not everyone is as confident as “breaking the rules” of dating as I may be — who makes the stupid rules, really — that, and the course of dating can often change even when you’re IN a relationship. Dating doesn’t stop when you’re in a lifetime partnership. And frankly, I think remembering the reasons why we DID get the attention of our significant others is important — BECAUSE YOU MUST STAND OUT! Be memorable or be forgettable. You must keep things open, interesting, challenging, spontaneous in order to keep attention on you. Sure, the thought may be exhausting. But don’t you think that a partnership built on love is worth it?

(Note to boyfriend: just because we’re together and you have “yard work” now, does not mean you should embrace dirty fingernails. Allow me to give you the number of my manicurist.)

So, how do you intend to stand out from every other girl and get him to notice you this Summer? Clean fingernails, for one.

But Rori Rayes, trained and recognized relationship coach, has some of her own advice:

Some of Rori’s Relationship Tips:

  • Be strong on the inside; soft on the outside: confidence with who you are meets “melty marshmallow.” Translated: don’t be afraid to let someone love you. Don’t let your fears cripple you. Don’t shut down your hearts. And don’t be angry. Mmmm… marshmallows.
  • Fall in love with YOURSELF, first. Love yourself through your mistakes. Or or despite them.
  • Don’t attempt to figure out what’s going on in a relationship after one date. No. You will wait 8 months to finally give him your number to see if he’s still interested. I kid, I kid…
  • And stop trying to analyze what a man is saying. This will never change no matter your relationship status; learn this lesson now.

She adds, her “wrong roads to love” as being: 1) physical: don’t get caught up in the “who’s the most provocative or sexy?” competition that women play with one another for company; 2) mental: the core values of honesty and caring — and that you want a relationship — are important, but likes/dislikes are not; 3) spiritual: be nice, and be kind, but stop making excuses for him. Take-away: being a “reasonable” woman is not the way to go.

The emotional road is the only right path to get a man’s attention. The key is to tap into your emotions and share them. Connect with him emotionally & be ok with him opening up with you. Don’t shit bricks if you see him emotional.

I think this is as good advice as any to follow — loving yourself, being the most important thing to remember. And stop the competition already! Ew. Not sexy. How do you feel about Rori’s ways to get his attention: honest, good advice?

Rori teaches specific things you can do to raise your self-esteem that will make you irresistible to a man. To learn more subscribe to her free relationship advice e-newsletter. You’ll learn a whole new way of relating to men that will make you feel better about yourself while you find the relationship of your dreams.

{disclaimer: this review has been sponsored and compensated as part of the Single Edition network}


{penis tuesday} squid pro quo


Hey hon, what’s for dinner?

Oh, just some squid sperm.

See also: Squid is gross {from science 2.0}


{the week} moving on… with my skates and dancing shoes at the ready.

{the week} moving on… with my skates and dancing shoes at the ready.

the week:
I returned to derby contact practices with Cast #2 this week. So, SO happy to be back. Being off-skates and on leave really gave me perspective on what kind of derby player I want to be and the motivation and drive to go all-in, kicking ass (and hopefully not gaining any casted forearm penalties). I know I’ve got some work to do, but I feel I’m in a really good place right now.

Stupid injury.


Furries! Yes, Anthrocon is in town! You’ve probably already noticed some ears-and-tails crawling around downtown as convention-goers started arriving this week. I’m hoping to catch the parade of the furries Saturday afternoon.

Tonight is Bowler Derby fundraiser for SCRD. Unlimited bowling for $15 (plus yer shoes!) from 6-9pm.

Friday is also the Mattress Factory’s wildly popular Urban Garden Party. North siders, park your cars and leave ‘em NOW!

Saturday, tailgating and Pahr game, naturally. We’ll see you in our favorite spot.

Sunday, I’ll be working at my part-time job, so Happy Father’s Day!

seven things, seven days:
1. {fun} Cards Against Humanity. A disturbingly funny card game (spun from Apples to Apples, it seems) that will likely provoke an upcoming game night. Soon.
2. {music} Banjo Night at the Elks Lodge every Wednesday! Super fun. If you want a table, definitely make a reservation.
3. {uninspired} struggling with the creative side of my brain this last week. Which is obviously a bad thing when you’re a writer for a living. Hopefully, this passes soon.
4. {green thumb} We have red and white raspberries, but lost our cantaloupe. I wish that strawberry season would last forever though.
5. {nom} Pittsburgh has a taco truck! More food trucks in Pittsburgh, please!
6. {nebby} My street (and by extension, my courtyard) was the unexpected place for a random news crew to show up this week. No breaking news happening here… but I’ll be keeping my eye on upcoming teasers. And my lovely neighborhood as the backdrop
7. {wants & needs} Desperately need a haircut.


Bowler Derby – a fundraiser for Steel City Roller Derby!

Bowler Derby – a fundraiser for Steel City Roller Derby!

Come aht Friday night for our annual Bowler Derby Fundraiser at Arsenal Bowling Lanes in Lawrenceville!

All-you-can-bowl for one flat fee, plus a tournament and prizes! Plus, shoes are FREE.
Adults: $15
Kids under 12: $10

Rumor has it, there will be baked goods for sale too. *wink*


{penis tuesday} case of the mistaken sexts


One in ten people have sexted the wrong person. And that chance of mistaken phone identity brought me Man, Naked in Hotel Room… With Penis text of 2008 (an unknown “Jim W” who obviously knew me, but I didn’t recognize the penis — but, hey Jim W, how are you?!).

Which, brought us to where we are today: Penis Tuesday. Four years and some-plus months later. That’s a lot of penises.

And while I seem to be the only one who doesn’t “get” sexting… oh, well, I GET the texted penises all right, but I just don’t understand the appeal (do I need to drink more? then I’d probably end up sexting my doctor or something), here are some stats from a recent mashable article:

  • 47 percent of people send sexy texts to their “significant other.” I do not. Does that make me a prude?
  • Men are more likely to accidentally sext someone else, such as a family member or friend. Sorry mom.
  • About 12 percent of people said they have an easier time sexting than talking dirty. Talking dirty is stupid. Let’s get to the sex.
  • Both men and women typically wait an hour to respond after a potential date or new partner texts them. Delayed gratification?
  • About one in five women will wait for the man to text first, while one in 10 men will wait to hear from a woman first before sending a text. Pussies.
  • 80 percent of people pay attention to the number of x’s (“kisses”) at the end of a text. What grown man or woman does this?! I use xo in texts to friends or family, NOT to potential lovers. Y’all are weirdos. Seriously? 80% of you use x’s? I cannot wrap my head around that stat.

So with that, I’m working on a little project with a potential sponsor. If you have screenshots of mistaken sexts, I’d love to use them! Please send them in confidence to Thanks!

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