Finally, last night I was able to dig into some of my new magazine subscriptions (last issue for Glamour, sorry publisher, but you just don’t mesh well with me anymore) before “Swingtown” began. Inside my Marie Claire was the holy-hell funniest thing I have ever read (well, besides David Sedaris, of course): Learning to Live Alone.
The article was part of the monthly “Survival Guide” section. Read through the links at the bottom of the article. I can tell you I have more than empathized with some of these.
I currently live by myself. I would feel lonelier if I didn’t have shared walls with my neighbors. At the very least, if I hear Crazy Neighbor’s grandkids running away from his beating belting game and some natural disaster occurred, I wouldn’t die completely alone. I find it difficult being in a one-person household sometimes, perhaps having to do with growing up in a home with seven children. Cooking for one is certainly odd, but I still think I eat for seven. The worst trait I developed after leaving all those kids behind, was that I become extremely territorial over my “stuff.” Yes, I was that person that had expensive stemware and lead glass cereal bowls and never used them, or sisters would come over torturing me with turning picture frames around or like, sitting on the couch (Yes, I was really that bad). I changed all that nonsense (but I still have work to do). And yes, I broke one of my glasses, but I didn’t freak. I learned to laugh out loud at the television, and I found my favorite private space to cry. I still hate having to kill bugs, but have created more of a “him or me” take charge attitude about the insects. (Lysol… gives them a chance).
I also learned that my silence is golden. I have never appreciated calm and serene EVER before in my life. Maybe because I never had peace, quiet or even privacy, for that matter. In fact, I used to be terrified of not having a constant background soundtrack. Now I can enjoy books in silence and the TV goes on sleep timer when I hit the sheets. I get so pissed when I hear someone showing the condo upstairs, knowing the past four tenants have been louder than necessary. (Yes, I brought out the broomstick).
I have a solid past of roommates, cohabitant boyfriends and roommates that become cohabitant boyfriends. Roommates can be fun, but at the same time, can be awful if personalities and alarm clocks don’t mesh. Luckily, I never lost any good friends from bad roommate experiences. I did lose a set of Scrooge’s Night Out martini glasses (never recovered) and a pair of ghost Halloween candles though (burned at a party I didn’t attend. Candles for burning? I know, ridiculous right). Still bitter. And once I had a whore roommate move my stuff out while I was on vacation. But she was already a whore, so no need to waste any more hate there. I always thought guys were easier as roommates.
I look around my condo and see all the material fruits of my labor: my eclectic decorating sense, my furnace that still is not working (blah) and I don’t give a crap (but seriously, maybe I should start dating that Jack’s guy that stands on the corner with the sandwich board), my fridge decorated with all my lovelies, all the travel photos displayed reminding me of escapism and my cereal. Many, many boxes of cereal. All mine.
Far better than the material, are the emotional goods. Serenity. Security. And dammit, some privacy!
It’s all very, very individual minded, but definitely not the workings of a person that feels alone.
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July 18th, 2008 at 9:23 am
I hear ya on a lot of this stuff. I’ve only recently started to consider the roommate thing…which seems like something I would have done in my 20s….but instead, I had my own apartment
Now, after buying a house in December, I’ve thought now and again about a roommate, and that’s where I’m at - weighing the pros and cons…because yeah, that silence is golden…but if it were the right person, I think we could have fun.
At this moment, I’m appreciative that I have cool neighbors that live on either side of me - that provides a lot of happiness and peace of mind right there…..plus, they’re cool people to hang out with!
I was talking with one of those neighbors last night, who has a nightmare neighbor living on the other side of his house, and I was silently counting my blessings!
July 18th, 2008 at 11:21 am
Matt - don’t do it. DON’T get a roommate. There is such a high risk that you will end up with a person that will drive you crazy and now they’re living in YOUR house. You already have neighbors you can hang out with whenever you want AND you have your own house to go back to and have your privacy. You have the perfect setup - don’t screw that up. Believe me - I’ve done the roommate thing in the past and they start out sweet as pie and end up turning into Single White Female. Now, if you’re talking about having your girlfriend move in… well that’s a different story. But the roommate thing? BAD!
Mel - that article WAS funny but no shock since it was written by Mindy Kaling (Kelly on The Office) - she is hilarious and happens to be one of the writers on The Office. It made some good points. Being alone in your home is nice sometimes. I enjoy my alone time when it comes, but I wouldn’t want it all the time. I like the balance I have right now. However, when I AM alone, my favorite things are that I can watch the girliest stuff on TV and no one can ask me to shut it off. I also love making whatever I’m in the mood for at dinner time without asking anyone else what they want to have. BUT, that’s not to say that I don’t love living with my man and sharing things like TV and dinner with him either. You know what I mean.
The perks of living with someone, on the other hand, I would have to say would be watching something funny on TV and being able to look over to your left on the couch and laugh about whatever it was with someone; the cat never gets why I’m laughing. I also love planning elaborate meals to cook with my man because we both love to cook and we’re both imaginative when it comes to food. Anyway, there’s definitely pros and cons to both living arrangements.
Oh and by the way, I thought about you last night when I was watching the movie “The Holiday” - if you haven’t seen it, leave work right now, rent it, and immediately watch it. It’s that good. Anyway, I think that movie shows that even when you’re alone and maybe feel like you’ll never meet that “Mr. Right” (not that I’m assuming you feel that way), there’s always possibilities and new things in your future just waitig for you to discover them and maybe Mr. Right is in that future, too. It’s such a hopeful, fun, loving movie. I love it!
July 18th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Tara - thanks for that…..nice to hear additional perspective on the subject.
I think that is a big part of my hesitation - I’ve got a good thing goin’….and a low tolerance for people that drive me crazy.
“The Holiday” was a great movie. Am I allowed to say that as a guy?
Anyway, I’ll give additional thumbs up on that flick, for those that haven’t seen it, it’s good.
July 18th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Oh, I LOVE “The Holiday”!!
And Matt, I say, no more roommates until you’ve made the decision to shack up with someone permanently.
July 19th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
I’ve lived by myself long enough that I worry I’ll never be able to cohabitate again. Sigh.