“Oh Em Gee — he’s going to propose!”

It seems to be a theme for friends, family and coworkers (and nebbies) to think that when you a) travel b) move in or c) move with your significant other that engagement rings are somehow immediately associated with said life event. Like, THAT’S THE DEAL, UNIVERSE — change of zip code and the nuptials will follow! While I like to think I finally set my friends and family straight that I am no longer interested in wedding bands or bells, for that matter, I hear this same annoying and presumptuous banter from friends in long-term relationships and other relationship bloggers.

And yes, I heard it a few times before moving to Pittsburgh — mostly from friends-of-friends or random (male) Twitter strangers, but… still. NUNYA. I did not move here with the expectations that my boyfriend would propose. I ALSO did not move in with him in Cleveland because I thought he might propose. See, we had this discussion early on in our dating timeline that marriage and family was OFF THE TABLE. Sure we both grew up thinking differently (even, if oddly, we both wanted beach weddings/elopements) — and I was *SHOCK* engaged in my 20s. We even considered the financial benefits of doing so (because you know everyone thinks that… well, in our case, it didn’t matter). But whatever. It means that we mutually agreed and bonded over the fact that neither of us was particularly interested in this becoming a focal point in our relationship.

Then you go through the requisite rolling-of-the-eyes, then the explanation (once again) that you are not interested in getting/being married right now (because I am realistic on these things, and know circumstances may change in 80 years)… and then explain AGAIN because they apparently didn’t BELIEVE you the first eighteen-thousand times you said that. BECAUSE WHAT?! ”You’re a woman, and you’re SUPPOSED to WANT to GET MARRIED! AND HAVE BABIES!” I‘m certain even my boyfriend didn’t believe me at first.

Let me tell you, when the anxiety of all that was no longer a primary concern — because you know, the “expectations of society” and commercials of diamond wedding bands and happy couples arm-in-arm that THIS MUST HAPPEN? to somehow validate our love – our relationship was solidified. We are life partners, plain and simple.

Do you just chalk this nonsensical chatter to boredom? ARE YOU GUILTY OF THIS?!

No related posts.

Mark W. “Some Guy on Bridge” Schumann

So last weekend I was dragged to a friends’ wedding reception by The Least Jaded Person I Know.

At one point, she took a break from the dance floor to tell me: “You know what I love about this? Nobody ever asks me if you and I are gonna get married. Because how ridiculous would that be?”

The Least Jaded Person I Know really knows how to charm a guy.
mindymin

ZOMG. Yes. My hubby & I did EVENTUALLY get married…but it was after 9 years of just being together and because I finally decided that was what I wanted…he didnt care either way. Prior to the Big Event (which for the record was the friggin party to end all parties and was awesome – esp since I wasnt footing the bill for it the number of times that I had to have that conversation was just fucking absurd. I dont get why anyone cares or how its any of their damn business. We’re happy – leave us the fuck alone.

So post wedding (5 years ago) my new favoritest BS mind-your-damn-business conversation is about why we dont have kids. Because we dont WANT kids. Little monsters…Im sure everyone who has them says they are fantabulous and I will play with them and love YOUR kids…but have NO desire for my own. I like my selfish little life filled with dogs and my brand of fun & debauchery. I would like to find the book where it is written “All must go forth, get legally bound to each other and produce small needy offspring” and burn it.
http://themoderngal.com The Modern Gal

If it makes you feel better, the thought never crossed my mind about the two of you getting engaged or married through all of this.

Now that I’m on my own path toward marriage, I’m bracing myself for all the “BABIES, WHEN???” questions that inevitably will follow and having to explain over and over and over again that the MLM and I have absolutely positively no desire for children. Why can’t people just be satisfied with where we already are without expecting more?
.-= The Modern Gal´s last blog ..Work life list =-.
http://www.alllacqueredup.com AllLacqueredUp

You know where I stand in all this and I’m so glad I’m not alone. After 11+ years together the questions have stopped for the most part but I still get the kid thing from time to time.

It’s as though people who have jumped on the marriage and kids bandwagon need you to get on board. That they want you to join the cult per se. I just wish the respect I have for people who make the choice to get married and had kids went both ways.

I can’t help that when I see a kid the first thought to comes to mind is albatross.

btw, there is a new show on ABC that premiered last night called Better With You and one of the couples is also on the no-marriage track. It made me very happy to hear the woman in the relationship say it is a “valid life choice” until it became a punchline.
.-= AllLacqueredUp´s last blog ..NARS Vintage Nail Polish Collection 2010 Swatches- Review &amp Comparisons =-.

Anyone going to the Social Media thing-a-ma-jig at PNC Park tomorrow?