*blue balls not included.
Recent headlines charge that Garfield Heights ODOT employees Dennis L. Kratochvil, Terrence M. Kosmata and Kevin M. Horrigan helped themselves to an inappropriate vendor schwag bag of strippers and hired garage out-call services, three-state “fishing trips” … and ham.
Kratochvil — singled out in majority of the inspector general’s report — paid-it-forward, utilizing the power of his penis to give household goods, cash and a waffled breast augmentation surgery to local Cleveland-area strippers. Surely, Kratochvil empathized with the need to fund these brilliant women’s nursing educations, once Cleveland’s P.M. in Garfield halted operations. One stripper is reported to have continued to receive money with false accusations of baby-daddy-hood.
STOP. THE. PRESSES! An exotic dancer lied to a man (who doesn’t necessarily think with the best “head”) in order to increase her individual net worth? Well, shit, doesn’t that just change my perspective on strip clubs?
Question, readers: is “fishing trip” a hilariously ironic euphemism for these sexy liaisons?
In that case, always, always go with the ham.
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This blog is about pursuit: a transplanted Clevelander (me) in a new city (that's you, Pittsburgh!), pursuing the role of a self-employed copywriter, becoming a roller derby badass and somehow merging all my to-do items into one ever-growing Bucket List.
And of MY boyfriend. His blue balls started this mess.
