Date #2 was head-to-head to me while crossing over the line that had built up near the back of Liquid. Luckily for me, I didn’t notice him until my friend did the “OMG!-did-you-see-who-was-just-in-front-of-you?” trick. Sadly, no David Dellucci (I just KNOW it’s coming). I immediately and immature-ly slid in between friends to guard myself from the “First Meeting Since I Decided You’re Crazy!” Safe…
Meanwhile, after spending a too-much-too-late Friday night out with some folks from foreign lands, I didn’t exactly have my party hat or my tolerance mask on Saturday night. Running into Date #2 proved to be no highlight… so of course, a couple moments later when I thought I was “safe” there he was again with fellow meatheads in tow. *Groan* He pinch-grabbed my top like some bully on junior high school property with all his “Send me my DVD and CDs”-or-else growl. First thought I know you’re thinking: why the hell do I have a DVD and CDs from some ass I went on two three…* no two dates with? He loaned me said items of a comedian he ranted about… Mel’s head thinking: Take items, listen, have conversation starters for next time. It didn’t work as I never listened/watched.
HOWEVER, I WAS the bigger person here and ASKED for his address to mail them back. BUT you and I all know the trauma involved in a visit to the post office. OK, blame lazinesss… They have made their way into a yellow padded envelope addressed and ready to ship. (See? Lazy) Meanwhile, seeing as how the night couldn’t prove to become more dramatic, my friend and I hit the Velvet Dog rooftop. I was already in a man-slam mode and what a perfect place to prey. Again, why are there not more rooftops with tiki torches and bountiful bottles of bourbon?
*Third date was a charmer, let me tell you. I tried the “I’m not answering my calls today” passive-aggressive game to no avail when he came out anyways and “found me” and proceeded to get a door slammed in his face no longer than four hours later after treating my guy friends and me like assholes — what I always imagined “Parma Guys” were primed for… The anger — oooh, the little-man-now-I’m-big anger problem. Feh! I pick winners here at LLP!
iPJHiser-ing: “Your Woman” by White Town, “Vinegar and Salt” by Hooverphonic and “Over and Over” by Moloko.
To Do-ing: Announcing my big change to friends/family Thinking: If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
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