Man vs. Woman & the Boob-touching Thing

A few weeks ago I was beyond-my-limit frustrated with not being able to get my Mac connected to the u-verse wireless in the house. (Note: still. does not. work. Thanks, Apple).

When the boyfriend came into my office, seeing the Apple desktop to my right with thirty Internet connection and AirPort windows open, the laptop on my left fully loaded to support-based forums, and me twiddling away on my little iPod (Esteban) answering geek mail, he thought the best thing to do to get me out of my never-ending funk, was to touch my boobs.

Ladies, I am sure you have been in a similar felt-up position.

For reasons obvious to me and unbeknownst to him, the “boob-touching thing” did not rid me of my all-infested computer dilemma.

Weeks later, I find out that he asked the kind gentlemen at the office (Hi, guys!) what they thought should/would happen in the likely scenario of touching a womans’ breasts. Of course, they all concurred with a male-dominated scenario of female jello wrestling and free blow jobs. Seriously guys, a grope of the breast does nothing to alleviate our frustration — in fact, it likely has increased because you are not the “geek” of the relationship and fixing the initial problem… and were not quick enough to put your dick in our mouth.

Can we all imagine the “yes, please” instantaneous response that would occur if a woman were to grab a little man meat while he was pissed.

And if 5 days of blue balls during “that time of the month” equals massive amounts of frustration for you, dear men, then replace “balls” with “computer that still doesn’t fucking work” in that equation. Now, imagine still not being able to come. That’s how frustrated I was.

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