*blue balls not included.
Interesting fun fact of the day: Today would have been my three-year wedding anniversary.
In a somewhat odd manner of celebration, I am going to have my brakes replaced today.
Talk about replacement!
There have been a LOT of changes (more than just a few new “car” parts) since the planning of that wedding (the engagement date was exactly a year prior to “the date,” so we’re talking four years of personal growth and oil changes). One, for obvious, I am not married. Two, for not so obvious, I am nowhere near being hitched. And three, having a ring, a piece of paper, an open bar or two-and-a-half-plus-a-dog doesn’t rule or map my personal or dating life because, well, I don’t really find it all that important or interesting.
Happiness has entered my life in more ways than I have imagined since the day I ventured into formerly-engaged territory. None of which has cycled around a white dress or penis parties. Oh wait… scratch the latter. Sure, there were plenty moments of financial despair, of seemingly-never-ending heartbreak… and quickly-spiraled loneliness. But today, at this moment of entry, I am definitely happier than I was four years ago: came with age, a better sense of self, an independent security and in finding better compatibility.
Came with the realization that by planning said wedding, I not only lost myself, but my fiance. I got to keep the car, but I eventually replaced that as well.
Will I get married one day? Probably. Maybe. I really don’t know. What I do know, is that I no longer feel as though my life is an empty wasteland if I don’t. And if-and-when I do, then it would mean so much more than flashing my huge practically-flawless diamond (worth a quarter of the initial appraisal upon resale), spending $2,000 on a dress that I will wear once (completely losing the deposit) and a hangover on my honeymoon (every 3,000- or 5,000 miles?).
And for those that are immensely curious, my ex ended up married anyway. No word on if it’s still under warranty.
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This blog is about pursuit: a transplanted Clevelander (me) in a new city (that's you, Pittsburgh!), pursuing the role of a self-employed copywriter, becoming a roller derby badass and somehow merging all my to-do items into one ever-growing Bucket List.
And of MY boyfriend. His blue balls started this mess.
