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Knock, knock. Who’s There? Jehovahs… I forgot the punchline.

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Today, I’m going to blab about a few things from  my mailbox. First, to Victoria’s Secret. Thank you for all the fantastic sales catalogs you bombard me with on a weekly basis. No thanks to the HUGE tittied women in FULL COVERAGE brasiers on your latest edition. When you start making bra sizes for women with small boobies, then we’ll talk. Ooh, now  I have to rant about my most recent visit to the STORE of Victoria’s Secret. While I’m no modest woman, please explain to me why I have to wear a bra to be FITTED for a bra. This sales woman’s conclusion just does not fly with me. There is no way you are receiving a valid measurement of my mammaries while I have this bullet-proof creation  on my chest. Sales person — You work in a bra store. You see boobies. Why are you suddenly fearful of mine? I realize they are un-tanned and like to hang loose in tank tops on 100 degree days. I even had OTHER WOMEN wince and mouth-drop because I walked out of the fitting room IN A BRA at a BRA STORE… and the sales gal rushed me back to my room as if I were filming porn in a day care center. (“BUT IT DOESN’T FIT!”) I ended up with a $50 bra… that guess what? Doesn’t fit! Bastards. Why was I talking about my boobs again? Moving on…

Thank you to Target for opening a new store. Thank you to Target for creating a grocery section. I no longer fear and loath the aisles of food-doom. More thank you to Target again for mailing me a  second $5 gift card in two weeks… and I’ll throw in another “thanks!” for securing the hottie security guard for your newest location.

Now, on to the Jehovah’s. I received a hand-written “Sorry we missed you!” letter in the mail. Thank you  for feeling as though I need more God in my life (by the way, I just thanked HIM, for what it’s worth). Thank you for you heartfelt letter and invitation to the next information bible meeting. No thank you, for I still like Halloween and St. Patrick’s Day… oh, and drinking? My apologies for my absence next Saturday at 11 a.m. for your teachings of the Old Testament, but I had plenty of that shoved down my throat while educated at Notre Dame College. Just give me a good sermon and a day that’s blessed (and a day of rest, PLEASE!) and I’ll be on my way. Thanks God. It’s back…

WEEEEEEKEND! (OK, anybody that has listened to GREAT dance music within the last ten years had better know the Bad Habit Boys song!)

Reading: Just finished “For One More Day” by Mitch Albom (I think this may be the third time I’ve read this. VERY easy read when you have a free afternoon). Will be book shopping again this weekend. Anybody have a suggestion?

iPJHiser-ing: “That’s Not My Name” by The Ting Tings, “She’s Mine” by Brett Dennen, “What if You” by Joshua Radin, “Painting by Numbers” by Michelle Albano, “Young Folks” by Peter Bjorn and John and all The Rentals music reminding me how AWESOME the concert was last night at House of Blues!

To Do-ing: Lake County Captains game Saturday night, saying “goodbye” to my sister that’s leaving the country for a year (tear!), confirming party plans and dinners for the weekend, paying another cell phone bill (Hellloooo, Verizon!), smiling from a great date! :-) See? Smile.

Thinking: To stand on one leg and prove God’s existence is a very different thing from going on one’s knees and thanking Him. — Soren Kierkegaard.

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