We started the driving adventure by mapping out certain silly spots along the way — and continuing my spectacular knack for photographs beside inanimate tourist objects. First stop was Fortville, IN — Home of the… Pink Martini-Drinking Elephant. Donovan Hunt, the owner of the Wagon Wheel Liquor store behind the giant animal, allowed us to jump right up on the flat bed for a photo moment under its trunk. He took our picture without hesitation. Of course, mentioning we were not the only ones crazy enough to come 10 miles off the highway to see a drunken elephant.
We attempted another Roadside Attraction to Indianapolis and could not find the Muffler Man on 16th Street, but thank you GPS for taking us through the mixed-use lands of ghettos and million-dollar lofts.
Seriously though, how do you “miss” a 20-foot giant burly man statue?
Further on highway west was Effingham, IL. A chuckle always occurs upon the mere 
read of the city on the road signs, but visitors are suddenly silenced by the giant cross. The GPS could not get us there over the tracks and through the industry parks, but gosh-darned, I was going to get close enough to touch it. The pathway to the cross (and its push-button commandment stations) is not lit — only giant spotlights saved for highlighting the ever-ominous 298-foot cross. It’s even creepier up close when surrounded by complete darkness and speakers re-tell the Do’s and Dont’s of Bible Education. Just creepy. And an “effin-this” and an “effin-that”… You know you were laughing along with me.
Collinsville, IL (a cute little church town) was next for the World’s Largest Catsup Bottle. There she sits like a water tower. By this time, night had fallen, and it was impossible to take a night-time photo of its tangy goodness. (New resolution to self: learn to take night time photos with no flash and that are not shaky).
St. Louis, MO
Shortly after 9 p.m., we arrived to The Arch — right outside our window at the Millennium Hotel.
One of the trendiest hotels I’ve stayed in, but the MOST god-forsaken uncomfortable bed and disturbing HVAC controls. Too hot? Too cold? You got it… until you finally realize there are window “vents” to open, letting in some nice city sounds and air. I could have laid on a bed of hangars and slept more sound though, seriously. The room service was better than expected — I had to have the “St. Louis favorite,” fried ravioli. Good thing, appetizer size was just enough. Oh, and the VIEW! (Had to mention that again.). We also had fun with our 20 channels of cable.
