I’ll be right back, bitches!

Geesh. Impatient persons! I have been busy with this (uh, welcome to Cleveland State)… and this (work has been stressful and yet I STILL need a second job!)… and this (YOU try squeezing in 3-4 days of cardio!). Shit. This too (Vegas plans for October with a 44-minute reservation conversation with United via satellite from Pluto which is no longer a planet).

I have not ignored the space because of rude insults as posted below. Puh-leez. Real life? Got one. Really doesn’t GET much more REAL than this. For finding REAL LIFE at the “bottom of a beer mug” as you say, I didn’t realize they bottled that anymore. Huh. As for “cheap?” Sorry that I’m not some self-obsessed, high-maintenance label whore. So, looking cheap? Sure. I bought my top at Tar-jay and I’m proud of it. I don’t galavant around to dive bars wearing 2-inch mini skirts and 10-inch heels… or *shudder* leggings. I live in my flip-flops majority of the summer (and freakishly well-into winter). I wear make-up (duh, I’m female), enjoy a pretty smelly perfume, and you might see me in a bra — oh GAWSH! The HORROR! Hmmm… what else would make me look and/or act cheap? Ooh, dating. Guess what? When you’re single, that’s what you do: you date. You date to see who’s right and who’s wrong.

You date to maybe get a nice dinner and a movie. You date to get a camping partner that enjoys S’mores. You date, well… because you’re bored? If that’s cheap, then I suppose, I’m cheap. See what you made me do? Now that we have that addressed and not-cleared-up.

I have been on this “eating healthy” kick for about a month now. No, not trying to lose weight, but to FEEL better — which has worked — in addition to actually SWEATING at the gym. No more fast food. No after-hours bar indulgences. No sweets (other than lightly sweetened cereals and other breakfast options). I eat some sort of fruit or vegetable with EVERY meal… and even for my snacks, I venture into unsalted pretzel territory. I never would have thought I could ENJOY a cup of cottage cheese as a snack at my desk mid-way through work. Yup. I allow myself one “cheat” meal a week. Thursday was the buffalo chicken wrap (not breaded — awesome!) at Public House in Westpark. I did NOT dollop the entire wrap with a gallon of bleu cheese, as per old-eatin-Mel. Nope. Just one dip. And one beer.

Friday happy hour! A quick jaunt from Liquid to Blind Pig. Bar Flyy closed? That kinda fucked up my plans for the evening. Wasted (appropriately enough) more time at aforementioned open watering holes. Disco Inferno was at Blind Pig. I couldn’t make it from work-crowd to club-crowd. I was spent.

I actually had to drive 45 minutes to an early Saturday closing. Which was why it was probably good on my part to make the prior night an early one. Part two was my friend’s pre-bachelorette party/sex toy party over dere… yes, on the east side. I worked out for an hour (yes, on a Saturday evening — gotta get my club pump on!) then went out drinking. Well, at least I got an hour of cardio to balance out the few Sam Adams in which I indulged. Oh, and you missed me rockin my cowboy hat out at Boneyard with Boston Trooper. Some shady ass with fifty-cents asked for a beer and then stole a cigarette and then sat at the bar wearing his sunglasses. There was a couple arguing in wedding attendee attire. No late-night bar food crap. Star for Mel!

“Good morning!” from a gentleman out walking downtown Sunday while I prayed the two-block walk my car was affectionately parked in a non-ticket zone. I returned and acknowledged with a smile. He thanked me for that smile. I take it he doesn’t get many of those too often. It changed my demeanor for the entire day… eh, well, I spent the rest of it indoors by myself mindlessly engaged in TNT movies. Thought I could skip the tear-fest, aka: The Notebook. Nope. Another Nicholas Sparks’ classic: “A Walk to Remember.” Eh, Sundays.

The remainder of the day I accomplished thoughtless “back-to-school” preparations. Do I have my bag packed for work with my lunch AND my make-up bag AND change of jeans for class AND work-out attire AND… fuck, I forgot socks. Blech. This has consumed my life as of the last three days. I’m sure I’ll adjust to the scheduling changes. Such as, how convenient is it to have class downtown on Thursday nights and just pop on over to the Browns game festivities when dismissed? Just saying. I didn’t say I changed EVERYTHING.

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