Bet you didn’t think you would see me this morning in your Reader, eh? Yeah yeah. So much for self-imposed blogging hiatus, but really, Fuck You. Nobody ever said I was good at playing by the rules. Or religion for that matter.
This disservice brought to you by “I have a dating story doozie,” which goes against all my beliefs for dating during Lent as well, but come with me for a minute. And also, a little “Fuck Him!” gem for ATV.
I recently discovered some Body who I became interested in dating. To be honest, he was a peaceful break away from full disclosure on the blog. He was a “friend.” And also a friend of an ex. We’re already walking on a thin line here, I know. Keep up.
We went on that first date initially to reconnect beyond the confides of Facebook Friends. We enjoyed a really nice dinner at Crop with tremendously awesome food — and what I believed to be, an even better attraction to one another. He then took the bill, which I consider to be more-than-friendly territory, then grabbed my hand at the bar after. And held it.
Then he kissed me. Among other non-sexual shenanigans, ’twas a good first date, right?
And we made plans for a second date - which I thought also went extremely well. A mid-week wine tasting, full of pestering and invasive questions by moi, followed by an Extended Length make-out session in the car. He even purchased a couple bottles of wine for ME to take home. Genuinely thoughtful and considerate, albeit odd — looking back — at how suddenly the date ended.
Saturday was Date #3.
I was looking completely hot - and I almost always wear jeans out, but I choose hot tight black satin skinny pants, but I digress. I got all sweaty from nervous energy waiting around for my date to confirm plans for our (maybe) dinner date. I paced. I fucking shaved. I self-tanned. I couldn’t even take a nap from all the excitement.
And the mother fucker stood me up.
During our Date #2 this week, he said he wanted to see me this weekend. And I got a text that read “I like u!!!” after I dropped him off. He also confirmed our date the day before via text message. I left a voice message Saturday morning in an attempt to make reservations early for us somewhere. You know, we females need ETAs!!! He texted a couple hours after my voice mail to say he would call when he was done doing… whatever. And another two fucking hours go by. Nothing.
I called. No answer. I texted (even throwing in a biting “Bueller?” to his non-response). Fucking nothing. I gave up.
He had more than enough attempts to call or text to cancel plans. Shit, he could have even ignored me, to which I would have also got the inevitable hint.
So I went out - got brilliantly blasted courtesy (and randomly) of the Boneyard in Mayfield bartenders - and attempted to find somebody to fuck over myself. For reals. And then I realized that I don’t really like men. Or men from Mayfield for that matter.
I’m thinking dinner this week by myself at Luxe is a must. Must have. Hot waitress.
What the fuck is the matter with you grown, adult men?
And the question remains, how long would you wait to make other plans before realizing you were being stood up?
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March 9th, 2009 at 10:01 am
You must have gone on a date with the same guy I did! Three great dates, a “talk to you tomorrow” and plans for the weekend at the end of #3, then never to hear from him again. Also, an “I like you” on dates 2 and 3. Men are fuck faces.
Kimber
March 9th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Geesh, I don’t know what to say…. guys are so insentitive - and I really don’t think it’s personal. They just don’t think the same as us. Have the tables been turned, he probably would have waited 15 minutes and then called the guys. Albiet, I’m really looking forward to a good drunken “heart to heart” when I meet you in Vegas. By the way - do you watch the “L” Word, because it just ended for good and I am bummed. Talk soon~ and keep your chin up!
March 9th, 2009 at 11:34 am
Next time make plans about two seconds after the first non-comittal text. Period.
March 9th, 2009 at 11:36 am
You guys are all really going to love my new band HateSex.
Details soon.
March 9th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
That ba-lows. Saturday must have been blow-off day. My friend called me in a panic b/c she was supposed to have a date with a guy that nite, but her email was down and she thought he was emailing her the plans. So she asked me to log into her email account for her. Imagine how HORRIBLE I felt having to tell her that there was no email from him. Poor thing. He never ended up calling or texting either. Just out-and-out didn’t come through.
March 9th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Awww, Mel. Shit. You know, when I read: “…after I dropped him off”, I figured this was heading down the toilet. YOU dropped HIM off? I don’t mean to be sexist, but a man should be a man. And drive. And open the door. And call when he says. I think the not driving was your first hint. Oh, and there are definitely hot servers at Luxe.
March 9th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
It’s a Monday Miracle! You’re back! Thank GOD!
Back in the day, I once waited 2 hours,…pathetic, no? Now-a-days, I would wait 20 minutes. If I didn’t hear anything in that amount of time I might text him just to make sure he didn’t wrap his car around a telephone pole or something. If I got no reply, I’d draft up a great “go fuck yourself” text and hit send!
March 9th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
(ive been meaning to come over here and visit your blog for forever now..)
fucking a.
ive been there. really kinda liked a guy, so i waited around for what i thought were definite plans that seemed to somehow?, gotten lost in translation.
i guess it depends, but if you’re not hearing from him by the time better plans come along, i wouldn’t skip out on them.
he’s an asshat. most men just dont get it.
he’ll have some lameo excuse and think it’s all okay.
it’s not.
next!
March 10th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Have you heard from him since?
March 10th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Maybe my Mr. Hottie Trainer moved to your town? Maybe he isn’t in jail? Cuz this is the kind of stunt he would pull.
Hey, at least you can look at this way - after you spend the 30 seconds getting your ego back to perfection (I give you only 30 seconds because this ass deserves no more time than that), you can laugh at his expense that you wore sexy pants and he didn’t get to see them or get in them!
Welcome back! I am a big fan of rule breaking myself - that is what rules are for right?
March 12th, 2009 at 10:58 am
should’ve called me. I would’ve ran up to the boneyard and told you it was a bad idea to go there in the first place.
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