Life, Liberty & Pursuit Of Your Boyfriend

I did it.

I waited too long to prepare for a first date.

Somehow, I thought placing my ass in front of the television for a week surrounded by lots of Mexican with extra sour cream would help me over my rough week of “feelings.”

Then I silly-slapped myself two days ago because although I love to hibernate in the winter months, I would rather not have the 20 extra pounds leaving a dent in the sofa. So I started a nightly regimen of yoga-esque stretching (hey, single people need to be limber and show off their talents!), ab crunches (where it seems most of the spicy and sugar foods tend to clutter) and (re)started my healthier diet. Baked potato with extra cheese, butter and sour cream apparently does not count for a healthy vegetable. Damn.

Although I cannot promise that I won’t gorge myself with Pommes Frites and twelve different shades of mayo every time I hit the Bier Markt.

OK, so I was already nervous like eight days ago (you know, when I first should have thought about pulling my exercise ball out of the closet). Driving to work on a one-laned Beltway certainly didn’t lower my stress levels. Although I found a new band/song on my iPod — Electric President. Awesome.

And while much to his chagrin, I won’t be streaking through his kitchen at 5 a.m., but I still have these stupid anxieties. You know, like, I wonder if he likes an asshole. With an extra ten pounds. Dragging around some excess baggage. No, I’m kidding — it’s just a briefcase.

Ah, shit. Of course he will.

But really, I was completely neurotic in putting myself together this morning: hair perfect, make-up sucks, shirt — meh, jeans (are these dirty?), shit I need to shave, that better not be a zit and then deciding between sexy but uncomfortable underwear or the comfy all-covered butt ones. I mean, he’s not going to see them (unless I bend or fall over improperly), but really though, it’s all about the attitude! Am I going for sex kitten or relaxed “cool” chick?

At least I painted my toe nails. Maybe he’ll have a foot fetish.