Geesh - I must receive 100 hits a day from Googlers with this search term. So, Mel’s gonna break it down for ya today. How DO you break up with your boyfriend?
A couple scenarios and tips for you:
1. Honesty really IS the best policy. If his penis really DOESN’T matter to you, the sky’s the limit—remember, there’s always ex-sex to worry about.
2. If he’s freaky, mentally ill, or borderline pyscho: RUN AWAY! This guy doesn’t deserve an explanation or a change of address form; maybe a restraining order. Infact, what a PERFECT way to lose that piece of dirt!
3. There’s always avoidance. I’m VERY non-confrontational. A former boyfriend of mine went away on vacation with the boys, and when he returned, he never got a return call from me. This really is the childish way out, but I’m different, and this I felt was necessary in said situation. Do not try this at home (see: #2).
4. If you catch him with another woman, a slap in his face is good—or hers. This works best in a room full of people. Careful while intoxicated and misconstruing information. This act comes back to haunt: Hey, weren’t you that girl…
5. Let’s not forget that he may be using this other girl as HIS breakup with you. Ahh…worked flawlessly, huh?
6. What’s that I hear that a guy never receives flowers? Dumping him with a dozen roses. Nothing spells “it’s over” so perfectly.
7. Um, you could move…
8. Then there’s the “heart-to-heart.” You don’t do this, you don’t do that… well, be prepared for him to do “this” and “that” with someone else. Make your words not-so-harsh—you’re growing, and may realize that those “thises” and “thats” don’t matter a year from now.
9. Let him down easy. A simple: “I think we should break up” works wonders. Maybe he’s thinking the same thing.
10. Finally, slowly start bonding him with someone you think could be compatible for him. What better way of dumping him than giving him to someone else to deal with all his bullshit? The best part about it, is that THEY hook up, HE looks like the bad guy.
So hopefully, Keyword Searchers, this can aid you in any decisions you need to make about your current situation.
And before I forget, don’t EVER break up with someone over a holiday. Too much togetherness, and WAY too many questions you’ll have to answer about being a heartless bitch…
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