Performancing Metrics

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Help me, help me!

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Ladies (or Gentleman… it’s OK, you can admit to the following):

You know the old quip that men can never ask for directions, hence the reason for the woman being lost in the first place and ensuing frustrations and arguments commence? Yeah, that.

Yesterday, I was fucking worthless. I got lost in downtown Pittsburgh. I can find my way out of deserted gas station fill-up exits in the panhandle of Texas, back roads and roundabouts in Frankfort, Germany and usually a paper bag, yet yesterday, I was internally misguided among towers that ALL LOOKED EXACTLY ALIKE frantically attempting to locate my hotel. Imagine, if you will, being inside a corn or garden maze that seemingly has no exit. And it’s raining. And your cell phone is about to die.

You with me? Whew. I know certain parts of Pittsburgh (downtown) well, but I get backward for some reason once I’m near Market Square (and the harrowing PPG buildings) or anywhere near the North Shore (save for the beauty of PNC Park). Seriously, which way is fucking North?

I called boyfriend (twice because he didn’t pick up at work the first time) frantic and frustrated and practically in sobbing tears after walking around for 20 minutes and somehow warping to the exact same Primanti’s location I already found two hours prior for lunch. Meanwhile, I’m completely in the wrong direction all because there are, like, 14 CVS pharmacies within two city blocks guiding my voyage.

It’s OK, you can make fun. Seriously though, is there anything more frustrating?

Thanks to AB for (I think) saving the day. An hour run in the amazing hotel gym alleviated all pointless stressors before he got home from work.

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  • http://tmontana.tumblr.com Tony M

    Heheheh. I remember that exact feeling … I had it every time I came here for most of my life. The good news is that in reality, there are only two roads to know in any part of town. 19 and 51 run through the south hills. 65 and 28 run through the north hills. In the east it’s either the Parkway (East) or Bigelow Blvd. West (where I am) has Route 60 and Parkway (West). Downtown is mostly Smithfield and Liberty. There are a few tributary roads that connect things together. It sounds like a lot, but it doesn’t take long to get the hang of it. After 2 1/2 years, I can now travel without my GPS.

  • http://www.bridgetcallahan.com Bridget Callahan

    It’s because there is no LAKE ERIE. Clevelanders lose their homing devices when they go somewhere landlocked. RIVER DO NOT COUNT PITTSBURGH.
    .-= Bridget Callahan´s last blog ..Victoreen Versus the Texas State Board of Education =-.

  • http://themoderngal.blogspot.com The Modern Gal

    Yeah, I never have problems with directions, but the first two days I was in NY for my week and half stay there in February, I couldn’t not distinguish uptown from downtown to save my life. The compass on the iPhone became my new best friend until I got oriented.
    .-= The Modern Gal´s last blog ..To dream the American Dream =-.

  • http://www.ftcs.wordpress.com Clevelandpoet

    I don’t get lost generally but that is probably because I get freaked out way before ever leaving. Like I check like 6 times and ask like 5,000 times the night before I’m going anywhere. I get anxiety about getting to where I have to go like bad.

    hell even if I know where it is I get like that.

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