Oooh, leaving work early. Soooo, here’s your Monday special (running around like a chicken with its head cut off is strictly optional):
1. Dating a Cleveland Cop
The cops are hotter in Cincinnati… Oh, I mean, hello, Officer! Beautiful day, wanna go out?
2. Finally get laid and you never hear from the fucker again
Sorry for your inconvenience. He’s a bit “tied up” from this past weekend and I’ve naughtily placed his phone away from arm’s reach. He has only a mere 18 hours longer of atonement. It will pass quickly. But he still ain’t gonna ever call you!
3. How to train your boyfriend to make breakfast
Lazy bitch. Make it yourself!
4. Does Grady Sizemore like blonde or brunette girls?
Duh. Brunettes. Moving along…
5. Why palms get sweaty around girls?
Awww, puberty is cute, no?
6. Why are there no fucking jobs in Cleveland?
This is by FAR my favorite search in the lifetime of checking out my stats! How awesome that not only does someone pathetically search for a story about jobs in Cleveland (Ask Jeeves no more!), but the PASSION and ANGER in “no fucking jobs” is absolutely classic. Good work, Cleveland! You’ve pissed off someone else enough to check out the lemming-esque city to our west.
