From tots to tits

Posted by Mel on Jun 18, 2009 in Chicks man!, Out-n-About, Sports Dribble | 7 comments

I love those special Cleveland (week)nights where the statement “just one more” becomes a “last call” at a strip club.

Near the end of my Wednesday, I was given a four pack of tickets to the Indians game — conveniently located in the first row RIGHT in front of the Batter’s Eye bar. Awesomeness ensued… but not on the field. At least not from the Indians. *sigh* Man, they suck. The Tribe had a good rally, but nothing much was going to become of a team whose outfielders cannot even call his catches. Seriously, Little League. (Our neighbors were calling out “Bush League” to DeRosa which was just hysterical. Although I couldn’t quite figure out their MC Hammer comments towards the Brewers… pants?).

Thankfully, we were not shut out completely from rain. But we couldn’t handle the impending loss, and left the game early. But hell yes for GLBC Elliot Ness served at The Jake (or Pro Field, whatever).

We returned to Forti’s (where we already had some bar food pregame action) for Tots. You know, the best bar food in existence: tater tots. Beer makes me very, very hungry for tots.

After another beer or two at Forti’s, my married guy friend started telling stories about a horrible strip club downtown. Of course, we had to go to check this shit out. Enter: Executive’s Den. And tits.

Oh boy, this place was filled with some crazies and broke-down strippers — five or six “hotties” on schedule. And it was such a fun night with AB and one of my married guy friends (who the strippers thought I was married to). There were a couple (naked) ladies who were pretty hot — definitely better polished for Christie’s or Diamonds, but newbies to the race.

I had an absolutely insane (and hot legs to boot) red head drool on me (I swear she was foaming at the mouth) and show me her vagina (and get makeup on my shirt WTF?). We were allowed to spank, touch (yeah, I know — no touching) and put money in places wherever we desired. The bartender was a total bitch and actually approached one of our faves WHILE SHE WAS ON STAGE for her to tip out — completely interrupting our attempt at making friends with the boobies. And we made friends quickly with a couple of the girls. We will definitely go back (I mean, it’s walking distance).

By closing time, we were completely out of singles (yeah, it’s a singles place), yet seemed to keep pulling hidden money out of purses and pockets. It was not a typical strip club — almost like a bar that just happens to have some topless chicks dancing on a pole in the corner. So, it felt… cozy. I love these random nights.

It was a completely ironic celebration of THREE MONTHS with AB. Ah, bliss and happiness.

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http://dogalien.blogspot.com Kelly

Haha — those tater tots are good at Forti’s. . .but I love those onion petals even more

As for the strip club portion of your evening. . .never actually been to one. . .

ps – Happy 3 month anniversary!
http://www.addictedtovinyl.com Matt

I love tater tots. Period. SONIC!

Congrats on the 3 month anniv – he’s a good egg.
http://livingwiththeboyfriend.blogspot.com Allison

um, the BF tells me stories about the Executive Den or as he calls, The E Den.
Vanessa

MC Hammer may have acquired the nickname “Little Hammer” from Milwaukee Brewers second baseman Pedro Garcia because of his resemblance to Henry (Hammerin’ Hank) Aaron. Side-by-side they looked like father and son. MC Hammer could be found outside the baseball stadium dancing in an effort to earn enough money to attend games.
PS – I love strippers, I was one when I was 19 “Raven” so corny! Hahaha…
http://ang-smiles.blogspot.com Angela

You should suggest that the strip club serve tater tots!
That guy from high school, and a couple years back.

“The Den” is a great place to frequent, especially with co-workers who seam like they’re about to jump too, and said they wouldn’t and probably shouldn’t go… where everybody may eventually know your face (not your name). “Do I know you? You look familiar”. When they start saying hi in a too familiar tone of voice and body language, your friends and/or co-workers may start to look at you in an acusational ‘what’s wrong with you I think you come here by yourself sometimes and it kind of scares me’ kind of way. That’s when you know you should take up gambling instead or maybe start buying cd’s again. It’s just hard to pass up when it’s on the way home from work, and on a Tuesday, it’s so much more fun than home, and if you’re going to grab a beer instead of go home, why not look at boobies too? No seriously? There’s that look again. To get your money worth, strip clubs are best visited in scrub bottoms or sweatpants. Those spots on the chairs that glow in the dark? Ya I think they are what you and I think they are. The ingenious thing about this place is that it’s right off the highway, you know how much business sense that makes? You know I’ve driven to California and back and I’ve only seen 2 strip clubs that are visible from the highway and they’ve both been in Ohio. The other one is on the way to C-bus, but that one doesn’t really count because it sucks, at least that’s what I’m told. Again, why the look? I’ve been getting it so much lately it’s starting to even scare me, or maybe I’m just getting used to it. How have you been?
http://clevelandsaplum.com alexa – cleveland’s a plum

you went to the executives den?!?!

HA!

love it.