Fear & Baseball in Cleveland

Since starting my own freelance business, I have found myself in various situations in which I otherwise would have been paralyzed by fear. No matter how irrational, I was complacent in my former life with any method of avoidance.

As a freelancer, I cannot let fear overcome my life.

Because of this daily mantra, I have made fantastic networking connections, participated in social media and volunteer events and even started training for professional roller derby. There is no longer a place for fear in my arsenal of wasted emotions.

This weekend, I was given the chance to throw a first pitch for the Lake County Captains. I was anxious a few days before the Saturday game, wondering if it were really going to  happen — so much so, that I didn’t tell anyone about it (only secretly alluded to it on Twitter about “something awesome” to happen). Perhaps the reasoning was one part negative thinking (that it would fall through) and another part potential public humiliation. I embarrass easily and don’t particularly want all attention on me.

As I stepped near the infield, all those butterflies swirled with impatience and self-doubt.

My name was called (albeit incorrectly, but I’m used to having an extremely ethnic, mispronounced and misspelled last name), the crowd cheered… and I threw my first baseball in probably ten years.

And it was a strike.

Just as I am familiar with meeting new clients, weekly derby practices and each submission for my client’s work — the fear dissipates, but no longer consumes me or more importantly, derails my priorities.

I wanted to throw that ball — at the very least — past the catcher. I didn’t want to fall short (or even more mortifying, throw like a girl). I wanted to do MORE than what was expected.

Which is exactly what you can expect from my work.

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