Mel: I’d like to order a cheeseburger without the cheese.
Drive-thru Chick: You mean a hamburger.
Mel: No, a cheeseburger without the cheese.
D.C.: That would be a hamburger.
Mel: No, really, it’s not.
D.C.: But that would be 20 cents cheaper ordering the hamburger.
Mel: Really? Where’s that at on the menu?
D.C.: (pause) Above the cheeseburger.
Mel: Hmmm… no, I think I’ll just stick with the cheeseburger without the cheese.
D.C.: (long pause) OK. Would you still like onions on that?
Mel: Sure!
D.C.: Please pull around.
Straight-faced I handed her my money. I really admire her patience. Nowadays, you’d get bitch-slapped with a milkshake. To this day I think it’s the most hilarious drive-thru experience that exists… and obviously, you just had to be there. This is my high-school framing example.
It goes without saying that a week without posting would make all to believe I’ve had some really crazy shit happening. Nein doch! A few presentations, groups projects, throw in a take-home exam and an all-nighter and I am completely spent. Just a few weeks left on the semester. How else have I been coping with my anti-social life? Oooh, just by semi-stalking some guy at my local Caribou.
Mel’s Law (or Theory): You will go to the Caribou Coffee on a regular schedule always dressed to impressed and chipper with an “A-game” face potentially having that Craigslist Missed Connection moment, but alas, you will finally run into the hot guy when you’re exceptionally late because you thought it was Tuesday and not Wednesday and haven’t slept in 27 hours… and the coffee stirrers are an arm’s reach across his espresso and your “Excuse Me!” sounds like a muffled “Beer, please!”
Dammit.
Reading: “African Cinema” by Manthia Diawara, “The Cinema of Apartheid” by Keyan Tomaselli, “Guide to African Cinema” by Sharon A. Russell and “Struggles for Representation” by Phyllis R. Klotman and Janet K. Cutler (A woman’s research is never done).
iPJHiser’ing: “Can’t Sleep” by Above & Beyond, “4 Da Loverz” by Sharam Jey, “Make Up Sex” by Clear Static and still trying to find some song I heard on 88.3 (my favorite Cleveland radio station) that has a violin in it with the lyrics “Won’t last too long… now that you’re gone… time’s all it takes to heal the pain…” ARGH! I HATE when I can’t find a good song! Help!
Thinking: You want a prediction about the weather, you’re asking the wrong Phil. I’ll give you a winter prediction: It’s gonna be cold, it’s gonna be grey, and it’s gonna last you for the rest of your life. - “Phil” from Groundhog Day
