Mel

Poop & Rally!

Day two in Tampa. It’s still freaking cold. I’m beyond feeling breakfast, and feeling the need for a big sandwich. Before heading off for vacation, I looked up a few restaurants and places to go while visiting Tampa. One of those places was Datz Delicatessen and Foodie’s Market (and Loft Bar). Oh, the irony upon opening the complimentary local paper in the hotel room and finding it also...

Mel

Ohh-Kay!

First things first, I have a rough time flying. As much as I attempt to think logically about the statistics and what-not, I am a balled up mess of anxiety (so balled that Xanax DOES NOT WORK). But I have a system: ALCOHOL. It is the only thing that allows me to function and not flip the fuck out. So, when I arrive at the airport, I typically have a tall Sam Adams and a shot of Jack Daniels (two if I made...

Mel

Top Posts of 2009

Ah, the memories… Enjoy these 10 “Best of…” posts from 2009, while I’m on The Rock Boat to Cozumel (yes, I’m rubbing it in again, Cleveland): 1. Things to do when Suddenly Single 2. Cleveland+ Elevator Pitch 3. I get fucked over? You get lucky! 4. Samoas. Trefoils. Lent. Giving up cookies and more. 5. I’m writing this post in my best bitch. 6. How to lose 600...

Mel

Random awesomeness. And awesomeness means nudity, of course.

Before I head to vacation, I MUST tell you another awesome story of accidental nudity. After driving to-and-from South Bend in less than 24 hours to spend New Year’s Eve with our friends (and, let’s face it, Czech Absinthe), we stayed in for the remainder of the weekend to prepare for our upcoming vacation. So, on Saturday night, while packing (and AB making an AWESOME “New...

Mel

2009 blog wrap-up because everyone in the Blogsphere is doing it!

Wow. 2009. No question, I think this was one of the happiest years of my existence. True story. Although, you would never have guessed with how 2009 STARTED… January started out a little… weird. I mean, it started out on vacation in Scottsdale, soaking in sunshine and a Buckeyes loss at the Tostidos Bowl. Yuck. But, weird. yeah. I made some lame resolutions, mostly in reference to HG Dick Face....

Mel

Y2K OMFG OU812 2HOT4U

The end of the decade is coming. How fucked up is that? TEN FREAKING YEARS have passed. “Since when?” you ask. Since our planet almost self-destructed and we couldn’t tell anyone on Facebook. Ten years is all relative to whom you’ve fucked or fucked over, but really… 15 years since I left Farmtown Inner-city A-town. Thank GOD all THOSE people were left behind in Senior Last...

Mel

Everyone in Cleveland owns a black wool coat.

Bundling up for a chilly, long Friday out in Cleveland, I buttoned up my black wool coat after work, and headed west to Fatheads to meet AB & his work peeps. I drank a beer called something like Monkey Nuts. Seriously. After moving the desk (previously mentioned in this post) into my condo in River (for temporary storage), we pulled up a couple bar stools, stacked our black wool coats on the...

Mel

Funniest. Thing. EVER.

AB and I stopped into the amazing Flower Child today for a bit of gift giving inspiration (and of course, wanting to buy every houseware item in the store; AB wants a bongo, but knows why he cannot have one). I could browse the vintage ornament collection for hours — and I will depending on how long the decorations remain up after the holidays — his attention span was not as great as mine. And...

Mel

YOU may be a stalker. But I am not.

In a weird twist of randomness, I purchased a vintage desk online to eventually refinish into a bedroom vanity (you know, when a second bedroom exists in my life, and I have room for sanding and paint fumes). That in itself is not random (OK, perhaps if you didn’t realize I like vintage furniture it may be, so there you go), but the LOCATION of the pickup was random. When Cool Seller (who read my...

Mel

I dream about cookies. Crumbly bits.

Eternally* I will wonder if there were truly cookie crumbs down my top while I slept. I vaguely recall a mid-slumber freakout of “something” crawling around in my cleavage. Dream? Coincidence that I baked new cookies? One can never be too certain. *By eternal, I mean, next Spring, when I decide to finally vacuum because there are now ANTS in the bed. Although I did dream vividly about Drug Mart...

Mel

What’s new?

I caught up with my ex — The Fiance — yesterday. And no, it’s not some big secret that we conversed. AB knows we’re friends. “What’s new?” he asked, in request of status from our last conversation a couple of months ago. Everything is JUST as fantastic as the last time we spoke – downtown living arrangements, permanent awesome boyfriend placement, upcoming ...

Mel

Crazy Facebook Chick

Something very strange happened. Facebook, natch. There was some chick on my friend’s list, who I do not remember adding, who was obviously unfamiliar, and she messaged me through the site last week, notifying me of her pregnancy. I started with a “Yay! Congrats!” while I quickly tried to figure out who she was. I see we are connected through another good friend of mine, and dismiss it...

Mel

Beauty Charity Event

As I mentioned in my previous post, All Lacquered Up invited a group of local bloggers over to “buy” her excess beauty products, thereby donating all the proceeds to Dress for Success Cleveland. Boy oh boy, did she have a lot of shit. My dream Christmas morning ensued… you know, without all that pesky wrapping paper Here’s what I picked up: - Murad (acne) concealer - Murad (vitalic)...

Mel

I’m Getting Chocolate for Christmas!

It’s Christmas time… yeah, ALMOST Christmas time. Puke. Time to make stupid lists and spend stupid amounts of money on stupid people. Who does that? Well, I did for years, but thankfully my shopping list has been drastically cut this holiday. You know what’s on my list (and has been at least every year since my first German class in 8th grade) — chocolate. A gift that keeps on...

Mel

Eye Sty something really gross.

As you’ve heard me complain daily on Twitter, I have a stye on my freaking lower eyelid. There’s a first for everything: broken ribs, giant cluster of boils on your ass… all with healing methods consistent with a long wait. Ribs? Eh, nothing we can do — take some Motrin. Boils? How the fuck do I know. But it’s seemingly a lot of waiting for things to pustule and burst and ooze...

Mel

Online dating before there was an “online”

Yes, I’m old enough to remember accessing the internet by means of dial-up, slow-as-balls 96 baud connection to BBS boards… and well, when there wasn’t really a world wide web of shit to distract. But at least we had computers (even if I was doing even crazier shit like learning dBase). No cell phones in the 90s high school either. I had a lot of black lipstick and crazy socks and ear...

Mel

What’s in the name: Mel?

On the day of my birth, I was to be: Melissa. The hospital had another thing coming, as five other Melissas were in the birth sanctuary that May 9. FIVE. So, my parents grabbed one of those baby name books, scanned the M’s, and came up with Melinda. Melinda. It is Greek for “Love Song.” I am neither Greek or a love song, but my favorite is “I’m All Out of Love” so guess...

Mel

GNO (and lesbians)

There haven’t been many nights where AB is not out with me, so when a Girls’ Night Out is planned… well, stupid things like me eating a piece of moldy bread with brown mustard smeared all over it at 2am are bound to happen. As much as I make favorable decisions when we’re out together, I am completely worthless in making careful decisions for myself. A friend-of-a-friend introduced...

Mel

Some early Christmas presents

First, from the Made in the 216 / Room Service holiday store – a gorgeous key necklace (I love keys!). So, obvs, it’s for myself. Second, a beer, please? Yessir, from my loving room. That’s was my Saturday surprise from AB....

Mel

Our meet cute is far from cute.

Or Part Two of “I’m a gonna make you puke.” Prompted by Tara’s comment, for those haven’t caught up, here is the Meet Cute story of AB & Mel: Has anyone been reading long enough to remember this story? Or this? Eat those words, Mel of never dating a 20-something. And, well, everything else that I wrote. EVERYONE who knew the both of us told me to stay away from him. So,...