Mel

Friday the 13th fears, phobias and penises

Leave it to Mel for another bonus to Penis Tuesday, with a special Friday the 13th edition! Here’s the list of phobias, specifically sexual in orientation. Use your dirty mind, people. Androphobia – Fear of men Anuptaphobia – Fear of staying single Carnophobia – Fear of meat Chiraptophobia – Fear of being touched Coitophobia – Fear of coitus Cypridophobia – Fear of...

Mel

Penis Tuesday — on Wednesday, a bonus!

Being preoccupied with single woman drama, I cannot believe I forgot your weekly salty taste of penis! As a little girl, did you ever crave the idea of having an extra piece between your legs? I think I saw my first penis around age 6. I seemed to be more curious about the way he peed, not so much the shape or quality of the extra thing. Oddly enough, there were three people in the bathroom that day...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Wow, Tuesday already. Damn. In Japan, there is cause to celebrate for the love of all that is… penis. The Festival of the Steel Phallus (or Kanamara Matsuri) falls on the first Sunday in April, so I apologize in my delay in marking your calendars. I always am the last to come. But anyways, the Japanese prostitutes pray to a giant cock to prevent sexually transmitted diseases, and countrymen attend...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Something a little different this week for all you penis lovers: I’ve decided to declare a Dick of the Month. This DICK is the driver of the silver Mitsubishi Eclipse with the license number DEN 3870. Thank you, ass munch for thinking you had enough clearance to get around me to the left lane in front of Legacy Village. With my car being a bit grimy and inappropriate for summer cruising, I did not...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Since a family tragedy takes me offline both emotionally and physically for a couple days, just a quick vid for your Penis Tuesday fun (NSFW!! and it's in German): Puppetry of the Penis Thanks to an anonymous reader!

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Holy, Land of Four-hour Hard-ons, Batman! Priaprism is the serious medical condition of having an erection for way longer than necessary (but just about as long as I could handle it). A persistent, painful, four-hour-long erection, mind you. And by the sound of it, fellas, it doesn't sound as if you can just tuck-it-in-your-belt-and-forget-about-it. Doesn't make all those commercials with all the...

Mel

Penis Tuesday!

Shut up and sit down, you big bald fuck! Let's all get cozy for a little Penis Tuesday. Today's hairy topic is full frontal nudity, specifically in films that are more-or-less accessed by the general public, rather than perverts in their basements. I am part of a generation that certainly said "Feel it! Feel it!" at the unveiling of Marky Mark's "Funky Bunch" in Boogie...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Warning for those that are the bearers of already small penises: BEWARE! Belief in fatally retracting genitals, or a belief in genital theft, is usually known by the name Koro. The word is of uncertain origin but is thought to derive from the Malaysian word for tortoise, (sometimes locally used as a slang term for the penis), perhaps with a nod to the tortoises' ability to retract its head into its...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Hello, lovers of all things in sets of two! Today's penis discussion is: diphallus. The double penis is a medical world anomaly that has about 100 documented cases and afflicts around one in every 5.5 million men. As if man is not a dick enough… but I'll stop with the dick/man jokes while the visions are still randy. Sadly, the second penis is rarely usable, which goes against my method of...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

I'm sure most are aware of the band Incubus, BUT do you know what an incubus is? According to legend, incubus is a demon (male) that, for intents and purposes, attempts to have sex with women (or men, if I suppose the ghost is horny enough) while asleep. AND if you were not subsequently freaked out enough by that information, remember Merlin the Wizard? Legend has it, he was assumed to be a Cambion...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Penis Tuesday, friends and lovers! Today's topic is penis removal — which most likely goes against my ideal thoughts for "penis tuesday." This goes beyond your run-of-the-mill gender reassignment surgery. I'm talking going all "Lorena Bobbitt" on your ass… err, dick. I'm sure this is super cringe-worthy to my male readers, but if you're interested in reading...

Mel

Penis Tuesday!

OMG, I cracked myself up for like 20 minutes with this site. What's your favorite slang word for penis? Mine is tallywacker. Apparently, English men with "tallywackers" can swing 'em over their shoulders… Well, so says urban dictionary. But seriously, it's also a farm. I'm assuming they grow plenty of cucumbers....

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Wet dreams*, or nocturnal emissions, are a pure fascination of mine (but obviously not as much as the female breasts). Here are some awesome facts to ponder while you drift off to Happy Land this evening: they do and can happen to women (I cannot recollect being so lucky), it is messier with men (as if you needed an explanation, pervs), usually stop during periods of sexual activity — or constant...

Mel

I know, I know, I missed Penis Tuesday!

This interesting factoid, taken from wikipedia: (Don’t click on the link, unless you would like to see penises!!) The human penis is both longer and thicker than that of any other primate both in absolute terms and in relative size compared with the rest of the body. By the way, if ever traveling to Amsterdam, penis-to-boob ratio is about 11:1. Carry on, bachelorette parties!...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Overheard in my office (I wish I were lying): He’s like a buck-fifty-five and half of him is dick!

Mel

Penis Tuesday – Around the World Edition (or a lil’ something to offend everybody!)

Pu?? usually refers to a very small penis. Romance language? A very small penis is certainly not romantic. Der Pimmel is a reference to your "hammer" in German. Der Pimmel is a Tool. Bring on the Kampflesben! We all know the rumor with Japanese having cin cin. I don’t enjoy search parties. And the Italians are all ceffo. With or without their pants on. Please "Finnish" off the...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Fellas, bring out the rulers: The largest verified penis on record is 13.5 inches long (some online sources state 14 inches, but I find this grossly exaggerated) and 6.25 inches around. The smallest penis on record was this guy I dated in college. Tragic.

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Surprisingly (or not, thankyouverymuch, Verizon), my cell phone does not work at my office — or at home when the wind blows SSE. The subsequent text and voice mail messages I miss throughout the work-day then all load through when I power up the piece-of-shit-phone after I leave the office. Tuesday, the first missed text is from an unknown 440 number expressing:  Oops sorry! accidently Sent pic...